In a move that surprised absolutely no one, former President Donald Trump has proposed a fresh round of tariffs, this time aimed at making sure Americans pay more for things they don’t even realize are imported. Dubbed "The Great Tariff of 2025," this plan has economists scratching their heads, retailers nervously clutching their price tags, and bargain shoppers weeping into their Costco memberships.
What’s Getting Tariffed?
According to Trump, the tariff will apply to a wide range of products, from Chinese electronics to European cheese and possibly even Canadian maple syrup (because who needs affordable breakfast?). The proposed plan includes a 10% baseline tariff on all imported goods and a jaw-dropping 60% tariff on China because, as Trump put it, “We’re gonna tariff them so hard, they’re gonna beg me to stop.”
Economic Experts React
Economists across the country have responded with a collective “Wait…what?” Some predict this could lead to higher prices on everything from iPhones to underwear, while others are preparing lengthy Twitter threads to explain, in excruciating detail, why this plan defies economic logic.
“We’re looking at a situation where a Big Mac might cost as much as a Tesla,” said one analyst. “And a Tesla might cost as much as a small island.”
Businesses Brace for Impact
Meanwhile, major U.S. companies are scrambling to figure out how to keep their products affordable. Walmart has reportedly begun digging a tunnel under the Mexican border to smuggle in discount flat-screen TVs, while Amazon is considering listing “tariff-free” products under a new premium subscription: Prime+Plus (which will only cost $1,000 a year, but hey, free shipping!).
Americans React
While some voters are cheering the move as a bold stance against foreign competition, others are worried about the impact on their wallets. “I was all for it until I realized my sneakers were made in Vietnam,” said one Trump supporter. “Now I’m thinking maybe free trade wasn’t so bad after all.”
Despite the controversy, Trump remains confident. “People said tariffs were bad, but I made them great. The best. You’re gonna love them. Believe me.”
Only time will tell whether this economic maneuver will boost American manufacturing or just make shopping at Dollar Tree a luxury experience. But one thing is certain: If you’ve been eyeing that new iPhone, you might want to buy it before the price jumps to a second mortgage.
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