Cynthia Madison 's Entries

• 08 Feb 2021
  Here’s all you need to consider before buying your first pickup

  Are you a first-time truck buyer? This guide is for you! We have plenty of tips that will help you choose the right pickup truck for you.  You’d think that shopping for a pickup truck is similar to shopping for a car, right? You may imagine that it all comes down to picking a color, an engine, and trim, and that’s all you should care about when buying a pickup truck.  Yet, shopping for a pickup truck is actually very different than purchasing a regular car. Why? Because pickup trucks generally fulfill some needs that regular cars don’t, such as providing a lot of extra space, heavy lifting, having a manly look, and being great vehicles for getting your family to camps and the countryside. What’s more, if you think of all the particular uses pickup trucks have and the increasing numbers of styles and options available, you can quickly get lost in a sea of choices.  Understand the difference between cars and pickup trucks First things first, before you go online looking for a pickup truck, it’s best to understand the differences between cars and pickup trucks. There are obviously some evident differences in terms of size, style, and design. But, the biggest difference between the two is the purpose. More precisely, cars are generally designed to carry people but not so many things. In contrast, pickup trucks’ purpose is to carry things and fewer people. You could say that in comparison to cars, trucks are more focused on the job they need to do rather than on how comfortable the driving experience is for the driver.  So, if, say, you need to move a lot of things around and need a lot of extra space, you’d opt for a pickup truck. Whereas, if you’d need to be on the road all the time and wish for a comfortable driving experience, you’d better opt for a regular car. Now that you know the main differences between the two vehicle types, you’d know what’s best to look for when searching for a pickup truck to buy. So, let’s move forward to what are the most important aspects to pay attention to as a first-time pickup truck buyer.  Consider your budget This step is similar to the steps you take when you want to buy a regular car. In fact, it’s similar to making any important purchase that involves a big investment. Yet, the difference is that when you want to purchase a pickup truck, you should be ready to spend more than you would do for a regular vehicle.  Trucks are expensive. And, if you have purchased cars up until now, consider that the price you paid in the past is going to be a lot higher.  In 2019, the average selling price for a midsize car was $26,486, for which the average monthly finance payment was $484. Yet, for a truck, the average price skyrocket by $23,000, making the average selling price for a large truck worth $49.713, for which the monthly finance payment accounted for $713.  So, it’s no doubt that you’ll have to pay a lot more for a pickup truck than you would for a normal car. For this reason, before you go truck hunting, check your budget and see how much you can afford to pay for your first pickup truck.  Choose a carmaker Searching for a vehicle, be it a car or pickup truck, can be a lengthy process. There are hundreds of carmakers in the automotive industry and thousands of vehicle models. Screening each truck model to find the right one for you can take a while and can be a really exhausting process.  So, to narrow your search and speed up the process of finding a pickup truck, you can start by choosing a carmaker that produces vehicles similar to your specific needs and personal preferences.  First, focus on those carmakers that make trucks, including Ram, Ford, Honda, Chevrolet, Nissan, and Toyota, which are considered to be the best truck brands of 2021.  Now, how do you choose a carmaker? There are plenty of things to consider, including style, technology, safety features, and prices.  Take Ford pickup trucks, for example. They are undeniable in their popularity and are still the most sold trucks around the world. Why are Ford trucks so popular? Because they are considered versatile, with plenty of cargo space, comfortability (despite the misconception that trucks need to be spartan vehicles), and performance. If you are leaning towards Ford trucks for as well for the same reasons, you can simply visit new ford f 150 dealers and search for your first pickup truck there instead of wasting a lot of time searching online for various trucks from other brands.  Midsize or full-size? One important thing to consider when looking for a pickup truck is what you will be using the vehicle for.  More precisely, if you simply like the idea of a manly vehicle or driving a truck and you don’t necessarily plan to carry anything major with the vehicle, a midsize pickup truck would be a perfect choice. Midsize pickup trucks are much easier to drive and park, and they still provide plenty of space and utility. On the flip side, if you’re planning to make full use of the bed for cargo or you want to tow a heavy trailer, you should be looking for a larger truck.  Your answer to this question will narrow your search a lot by helping you only search for trucks of the size you need. Plus, it will also help you know if you should be looking for a two- or four-wheel drive. For example, if you plan to tow a boat or a Jet Ski, you should consider a four-wheel drive to gain traction on slippery boat ramps.  Consider engine power and size When it comes to engine power and size for pickup trucks, you’ll likely have to find the right balance between having enough power and getting food fuel economy.  Trucks have a long bad rap for being gas-guzzlers. Yet, modern trucks now include more engine options than ever before. Most vehicles provide more fuel-efficient options these days. In fact, a V6 engine could now do the work of a V8 used more than a decade ago in trucks and still get better fuel economy.  Now, you should know that engine size and power matter just as much as the towing capacity of the truck. For example, a smaller 4-cylinder engine might not give your pickup truck the power you want to have to get your work done. But it will save you some money on gas. So, if you plan to tow large boats, you should consider a V6 or even a V8 engine but expect to spend more money on gas. 

  116 Posted by Cynthia Madison
• By Cynthia Madison

  Here’s all you need to consider before buying your first pickup

  Are you a first-time truck buyer? This guide is for you! We have plenty of tips that will help you choose the right pickup truck for you.  You’d think that shopping for a pickup truck is similar to shopping for a car, right? You may imagine that it all comes down to picking a color, an engine, and trim, and that’s all you should care about when buying a pickup truck.  Yet, shopping for a pickup truck is actually very different than purchasing a regular car. Why? Because pickup trucks generally fulfill some needs that regular cars don’t, such as providing a lot of extra space, heavy lifting, having a manly look, and being great vehicles for getting your family to camps and the countryside. What’s more, if you think of all the particular uses pickup trucks have and the increasing numbers of styles and options available, you can quickly get lost in a sea of choices.  Understand the difference between cars and pickup trucks First things first, before you go online looking for a pickup truck, it’s best to understand the differences between cars and pickup trucks. There are obviously some evident differences in terms of size, style, and design. But, the biggest difference between the two is the purpose. More precisely, cars are generally designed to carry people but not so many things. In contrast, pickup trucks’ purpose is to carry things and fewer people. You could say that in comparison to cars, trucks are more focused on the job they need to do rather than on how comfortable the driving experience is for the driver.  So, if, say, you need to move a lot of things around and need a lot of extra space, you’d opt for a pickup truck. Whereas, if you’d need to be on the road all the time and wish for a comfortable driving experience, you’d better opt for a regular car. Now that you know the main differences between the two vehicle types, you’d know what’s best to look for when searching for a pickup truck to buy. So, let’s move forward to what are the most important aspects to pay attention to as a first-time pickup truck buyer.  Consider your budget This step is similar to the steps you take when you want to buy a regular car. In fact, it’s similar to making any important purchase that involves a big investment. Yet, the difference is that when you want to purchase a pickup truck, you should be ready to spend more than you would do for a regular vehicle.  Trucks are expensive. And, if you have purchased cars up until now, consider that the price you paid in the past is going to be a lot higher.  In 2019, the average selling price for a midsize car was $26,486, for which the average monthly finance payment was $484. Yet, for a truck, the average price skyrocket by $23,000, making the average selling price for a large truck worth $49.713, for which the monthly finance payment accounted for $713.  So, it’s no doubt that you’ll have to pay a lot more for a pickup truck than you would for a normal car. For this reason, before you go truck hunting, check your budget and see how much you can afford to pay for your first pickup truck.  Choose a carmaker Searching for a vehicle, be it a car or pickup truck, can be a lengthy process. There are hundreds of carmakers in the automotive industry and thousands of vehicle models. Screening each truck model to find the right one for you can take a while and can be a really exhausting process.  So, to narrow your search and speed up the process of finding a pickup truck, you can start by choosing a carmaker that produces vehicles similar to your specific needs and personal preferences.  First, focus on those carmakers that make trucks, including Ram, Ford, Honda, Chevrolet, Nissan, and Toyota, which are considered to be the best truck brands of 2021.  Now, how do you choose a carmaker? There are plenty of things to consider, including style, technology, safety features, and prices.  Take Ford pickup trucks, for example. They are undeniable in their popularity and are still the most sold trucks around the world. Why are Ford trucks so popular? Because they are considered versatile, with plenty of cargo space, comfortability (despite the misconception that trucks need to be spartan vehicles), and performance. If you are leaning towards Ford trucks for as well for the same reasons, you can simply visit new ford f 150 dealers and search for your first pickup truck there instead of wasting a lot of time searching online for various trucks from other brands.  Midsize or full-size? One important thing to consider when looking for a pickup truck is what you will be using the vehicle for.  More precisely, if you simply like the idea of a manly vehicle or driving a truck and you don’t necessarily plan to carry anything major with the vehicle, a midsize pickup truck would be a perfect choice. Midsize pickup trucks are much easier to drive and park, and they still provide plenty of space and utility. On the flip side, if you’re planning to make full use of the bed for cargo or you want to tow a heavy trailer, you should be looking for a larger truck.  Your answer to this question will narrow your search a lot by helping you only search for trucks of the size you need. Plus, it will also help you know if you should be looking for a two- or four-wheel drive. For example, if you plan to tow a boat or a Jet Ski, you should consider a four-wheel drive to gain traction on slippery boat ramps.  Consider engine power and size When it comes to engine power and size for pickup trucks, you’ll likely have to find the right balance between having enough power and getting food fuel economy.  Trucks have a long bad rap for being gas-guzzlers. Yet, modern trucks now include more engine options than ever before. Most vehicles provide more fuel-efficient options these days. In fact, a V6 engine could now do the work of a V8 used more than a decade ago in trucks and still get better fuel economy.  Now, you should know that engine size and power matter just as much as the towing capacity of the truck. For example, a smaller 4-cylinder engine might not give your pickup truck the power you want to have to get your work done. But it will save you some money on gas. So, if you plan to tow large boats, you should consider a V6 or even a V8 engine but expect to spend more money on gas. 

  Feb 08, 2021 116
• 04 Jan 2021
  8 Mistakes to Avoid While at a Car Dealership

  Driving a brand-new automobile can be one of the great experiences of life. Strolling through a dealership to buy one, on the other hand, ranks up there with visits to the dentist and public speaking atop most people’s record of anxiety-inducing prospects. And people have their reasons – it’s easy to end up overpaying by hundreds of dollars or more if you let the excitement of buying a new car cloud your judgment.  But contrary to many inexperienced beliefs, it’s not really that scary if you’re knowledgeable and prepared. Then you can step into that dealership confident, informed, and in charge of the entire process. Here are the most common mistakes and how to avoid falling prey to them. Setting Your Sight on a Specific Model or Dealership Most automobiles reach at least $10,000. If you plan to make this kind of purchase, you shouldn’t target a single model and disregard all others.   Time is a crucial factor in your purchase, but there could be alternative cars that could actually be better for your budget and family.  Before you head out to the first dealership, check online reviews, ratings, safety, pricing, and reliability. Becoming a smart buyer will make you much more self-assured.  Shopping around at different dealerships also suggests that you’re keeping your options open, so don’t be shy about telling the car dealer which other dealership you’re talking to.  Skipping the Test Drive  When you’re shopping long-distance, it’s easy to assume that what looks good on screen translates to real life. Not all that glitters is gold. Catchy descriptions and shiny brochures aren’t enough- you need to understand and feel how the automobile drives for yourself and make sure there aren’t any unexpected surprises.  How long should you test drive your next car? Spend at least 30 minutes test driving and inspecting the car inside and out – it’s worth the effort to evade the buyer’s remorse, and you will thank yourself later.     Not Digging Deeper into a Used Car’s Condition    Over time, sellers have become experts in hiding the true condition of a used car. Fortunately, test driving is a useful way to catch hidden problems, but it’s not guaranteed. Make sure you investigate the VIN to learn more about the car’s accident history and maintenance.    Negotiating Down Instead of Up   It’s always smart to negotiate for a better bid, but you’re doing it backward if you settle down from the sticker price. Instead, you should try to ask the dealership how much they paid for the car and negotiate up from there. In doing so, you will get a better idea of the seller’s profit margin, allowing you to determine a reasonable price range that allows both parties to benefit evenly.    Only Focusing on the Monthly Payment    The most frequently asked question in a dealership is,” What kind of monthly payment are you looking for?” Be cautious and don’t take the bait just yet. Suppose this becomes the central focus of your negotiations. In that case, the auto dealer may lump the car price, trade-in value, and lease or loan terms together, helping the salesperson fabricate the appearance of a “great bid.”  Instead, haggle one thing at a time, starting with the car’s price. Find your St Louis ford dealer, then mention the trade-in value, followed by leasing or financing to establish the monthly payment.    Forgetting to Research the Value of Your Trade-In   Don’t know what your current vehicle is worth? It means the salesperson may try to offer you a trade-in offer that’s lower than what your current automobile is actually worth. To avoid this, research your car’s wholesale and retail prices. Also, you won’t need to worry about fixing minor issues with your old vehicle before trading it in. Brand new tires, an oil change, and wiper blades won’t bring much value. Save that money for the new car.    Skipping the Call to Your Insurance Company    If the car you’re considering is considerably higher in value or newer than your current car, you could be in for dismay when you update your insurance coverage. To better understand, contact your insurance agent and explain what you’re considering. You may also need gap insurance, which you might not think about, or you could be required to increase your coverage depending on your financing decisions.    Agreeing to Buy Unnecessary Extras   It’s common among salespeople to upsell buyers on extras they don’t actually need. These extras may include fabric protection, rustproofing, paint, or VIN etching. You won’t necessarily need them – reliability surveys prove that rust isn’t a genuine concern with modern cars because they’re already coated to avert corrosion. Not to mention you can treat the fabric and paint yourself using more inexpensive products. 

  561 Posted by Cynthia Madison
• By Cynthia Madison

  8 Mistakes to Avoid While at a Car Dealership

  Driving a brand-new automobile can be one of the great experiences of life. Strolling through a dealership to buy one, on the other hand, ranks up there with visits to the dentist and public speaking atop most people’s record of anxiety-inducing prospects. And people have their reasons – it’s easy to end up overpaying by hundreds of dollars or more if you let the excitement of buying a new car cloud your judgment.  But contrary to many inexperienced beliefs, it’s not really that scary if you’re knowledgeable and prepared. Then you can step into that dealership confident, informed, and in charge of the entire process. Here are the most common mistakes and how to avoid falling prey to them. Setting Your Sight on a Specific Model or Dealership Most automobiles reach at least $10,000. If you plan to make this kind of purchase, you shouldn’t target a single model and disregard all others.   Time is a crucial factor in your purchase, but there could be alternative cars that could actually be better for your budget and family.  Before you head out to the first dealership, check online reviews, ratings, safety, pricing, and reliability. Becoming a smart buyer will make you much more self-assured.  Shopping around at different dealerships also suggests that you’re keeping your options open, so don’t be shy about telling the car dealer which other dealership you’re talking to.  Skipping the Test Drive  When you’re shopping long-distance, it’s easy to assume that what looks good on screen translates to real life. Not all that glitters is gold. Catchy descriptions and shiny brochures aren’t enough- you need to understand and feel how the automobile drives for yourself and make sure there aren’t any unexpected surprises.  How long should you test drive your next car? Spend at least 30 minutes test driving and inspecting the car inside and out – it’s worth the effort to evade the buyer’s remorse, and you will thank yourself later.     Not Digging Deeper into a Used Car’s Condition    Over time, sellers have become experts in hiding the true condition of a used car. Fortunately, test driving is a useful way to catch hidden problems, but it’s not guaranteed. Make sure you investigate the VIN to learn more about the car’s accident history and maintenance.    Negotiating Down Instead of Up   It’s always smart to negotiate for a better bid, but you’re doing it backward if you settle down from the sticker price. Instead, you should try to ask the dealership how much they paid for the car and negotiate up from there. In doing so, you will get a better idea of the seller’s profit margin, allowing you to determine a reasonable price range that allows both parties to benefit evenly.    Only Focusing on the Monthly Payment    The most frequently asked question in a dealership is,” What kind of monthly payment are you looking for?” Be cautious and don’t take the bait just yet. Suppose this becomes the central focus of your negotiations. In that case, the auto dealer may lump the car price, trade-in value, and lease or loan terms together, helping the salesperson fabricate the appearance of a “great bid.”  Instead, haggle one thing at a time, starting with the car’s price. Find your St Louis ford dealer, then mention the trade-in value, followed by leasing or financing to establish the monthly payment.    Forgetting to Research the Value of Your Trade-In   Don’t know what your current vehicle is worth? It means the salesperson may try to offer you a trade-in offer that’s lower than what your current automobile is actually worth. To avoid this, research your car’s wholesale and retail prices. Also, you won’t need to worry about fixing minor issues with your old vehicle before trading it in. Brand new tires, an oil change, and wiper blades won’t bring much value. Save that money for the new car.    Skipping the Call to Your Insurance Company    If the car you’re considering is considerably higher in value or newer than your current car, you could be in for dismay when you update your insurance coverage. To better understand, contact your insurance agent and explain what you’re considering. You may also need gap insurance, which you might not think about, or you could be required to increase your coverage depending on your financing decisions.    Agreeing to Buy Unnecessary Extras   It’s common among salespeople to upsell buyers on extras they don’t actually need. These extras may include fabric protection, rustproofing, paint, or VIN etching. You won’t necessarily need them – reliability surveys prove that rust isn’t a genuine concern with modern cars because they’re already coated to avert corrosion. Not to mention you can treat the fabric and paint yourself using more inexpensive products. 

  Jan 04, 2021 561
• 30 Dec 2020
  What You Can Really Learn In Couples Therapy?

  We all like to assume we know what’s best when it comes to living the worst or best moment in our relationships. But sometimes it’s more than necessary to ask for help – such as a relationship coach or couples’ therapist – who can share some ways to solve relationships problems, yield some pearl drops of wisdom and impart the knowledge you and your partner possibly never figured out on your own.  While it may prove nerve-racking, sometimes a bit pricey and time-consuming, many couples find it beneficial to seek professional help. In this case, couples therapy is a smart choice for those who feel like they’re stuck in a drama and can’t figure out a realistic solution.  However, not everyone sees couples therapy with the same grain of clarity – going to therapy doesn’t mean that your relationship is deteriorating, or something is inherently wrong. The thing is, we all get stuck sometimes and just having a neutral individual involved can work wonders. Remind Yourself Why You’re Together  After you’ve been together for a while, you can easily forget what initially brought you two together, and even easier to take each for granted.  For this reason, couple counselors often suggest couples to make an effort to maintain the freshness with a few simple tricks. It’s easy to get stuck in the day-to-day routine. Your lover will not always seem novel and steal your heart in an instant, which is why reminding yourself why you love them – and telling them – will keep things fresh front and center.  In couples therapy, you will learn that spicing up your date nights, being more affectionate, and having more sex will nourish that spark. Relationship Issues Are Never One Person’s Fault  We know how tempting it may be to condemn each other for the issues in your relationship, but counselors with years of experience in couples therapy want you to know that it’s rarely ever one person’s fault. There is always something in the “middle.” The problem lies somewhere between interaction and the dynamic that you two have honed and formed over time.  Take a closer look at the “life cycle” or your arguing pattern – there is always a trigger, the same thing every time, but there is a feeling this is elicited in one of you. What’s next? A torrent of actions that, if investigated carefully, can expose what trap you two fall into.  Both of you have the ability to interrupt this dance at any given time, but the struggle is pushing yourself to do something new, so you don’t stay caught in the power of the pattern.   Acknowledge and Embrace the Fact that You’re Both so Different  If you and your boyfriend are total opposites, you might start wondering why and how you’re still together. You will also be prone to think your differences are the gist of your issues. But experienced couple therapists are often quick to mention that opposites attract for a reason.  Couples often seem puzzled about how they could have possibly ended up with a partner or spouse who is so opposite from them. The thing is that their preference is owned to evolution, whose main purpose is to keep people alive and procreating. To put it differently, a child is more likely to survive and thrive if its parents have opposite strengths.  So the fact that you and your spouse are opposite can actually be beneficial – especially if you learn to embrace it. Couples often seek, find, and then disagree with an opposing trait in their partner. But in a healthier relationship, we value these traits because we have something to learn from them.  It’s Ok to Go To Bed Angry  We’re all acquainted with the old “never go bed angry” - we make up right away, so we don’t stew on our fury the whole night through. Yet not every counselor will agree with this advice.  You will be surprised to hear that “it’s perfectly fine to go to bed angry” from a couple therapist.  What you will learn in a therapy session - which is quite obvious if you think about it – is that you can’t find a solution while you’re angry.” Sometimes, couples need to part ways for a few hours. Only once you’ve calmed down can you really address the conflict in the relationship productively and positively. When you’re both mad, and it’s bedtime, you can either fight, argue, and yell until the first hours of the morning, or you can simply accept the conflict is what it is right now, go to bed and wake in a much better state to handle the conflict.  The Sooner Your Stop Assuming, The Better  Most couples therapists point out that when people assume they know what their spouses are thinking, they’re usually 100% wrong.  The reason is oftentimes the same – a lot of couples view a situation strictly from only their perception of the situation. This gets worse when, without complete communication with each other, assumptions can start to flow in about what the other person is feeling, thinking, or doing. Most couples act on their own perception without fully solving the whole equation.  Instead of jumping into a conclusion wagon, it’s much better, even healthier, to ask questions. Ask questions based on what you know and confirm a complete understanding of it. Almost 100% of the time, you were wrong, and that’s not such a dreadful thing – because more than likely, you assumed the worst about your partner. It’s healthier and less stressful to cultivate a deeper connection with your spouse since you both understand each other’s point of view.  You will also need to understand that your partner and your relationship are dynamic and always changing – the second you find yourself in the “it used to be like this situation,” you’re trying to work the wrong way in time. A healthy relationship consists of doing small things regularly and checking in with each other. Small or huge gestures are great but what really shapes emotional kinship is listening to each other and becoming closely aware of each other aspirations and dreams.   

  685 Posted by Cynthia Madison
• By Cynthia Madison

  What You Can Really Learn In Couples Therapy?

  We all like to assume we know what’s best when it comes to living the worst or best moment in our relationships. But sometimes it’s more than necessary to ask for help – such as a relationship coach or couples’ therapist – who can share some ways to solve relationships problems, yield some pearl drops of wisdom and impart the knowledge you and your partner possibly never figured out on your own.  While it may prove nerve-racking, sometimes a bit pricey and time-consuming, many couples find it beneficial to seek professional help. In this case, couples therapy is a smart choice for those who feel like they’re stuck in a drama and can’t figure out a realistic solution.  However, not everyone sees couples therapy with the same grain of clarity – going to therapy doesn’t mean that your relationship is deteriorating, or something is inherently wrong. The thing is, we all get stuck sometimes and just having a neutral individual involved can work wonders. Remind Yourself Why You’re Together  After you’ve been together for a while, you can easily forget what initially brought you two together, and even easier to take each for granted.  For this reason, couple counselors often suggest couples to make an effort to maintain the freshness with a few simple tricks. It’s easy to get stuck in the day-to-day routine. Your lover will not always seem novel and steal your heart in an instant, which is why reminding yourself why you love them – and telling them – will keep things fresh front and center.  In couples therapy, you will learn that spicing up your date nights, being more affectionate, and having more sex will nourish that spark. Relationship Issues Are Never One Person’s Fault  We know how tempting it may be to condemn each other for the issues in your relationship, but counselors with years of experience in couples therapy want you to know that it’s rarely ever one person’s fault. There is always something in the “middle.” The problem lies somewhere between interaction and the dynamic that you two have honed and formed over time.  Take a closer look at the “life cycle” or your arguing pattern – there is always a trigger, the same thing every time, but there is a feeling this is elicited in one of you. What’s next? A torrent of actions that, if investigated carefully, can expose what trap you two fall into.  Both of you have the ability to interrupt this dance at any given time, but the struggle is pushing yourself to do something new, so you don’t stay caught in the power of the pattern.   Acknowledge and Embrace the Fact that You’re Both so Different  If you and your boyfriend are total opposites, you might start wondering why and how you’re still together. You will also be prone to think your differences are the gist of your issues. But experienced couple therapists are often quick to mention that opposites attract for a reason.  Couples often seem puzzled about how they could have possibly ended up with a partner or spouse who is so opposite from them. The thing is that their preference is owned to evolution, whose main purpose is to keep people alive and procreating. To put it differently, a child is more likely to survive and thrive if its parents have opposite strengths.  So the fact that you and your spouse are opposite can actually be beneficial – especially if you learn to embrace it. Couples often seek, find, and then disagree with an opposing trait in their partner. But in a healthier relationship, we value these traits because we have something to learn from them.  It’s Ok to Go To Bed Angry  We’re all acquainted with the old “never go bed angry” - we make up right away, so we don’t stew on our fury the whole night through. Yet not every counselor will agree with this advice.  You will be surprised to hear that “it’s perfectly fine to go to bed angry” from a couple therapist.  What you will learn in a therapy session - which is quite obvious if you think about it – is that you can’t find a solution while you’re angry.” Sometimes, couples need to part ways for a few hours. Only once you’ve calmed down can you really address the conflict in the relationship productively and positively. When you’re both mad, and it’s bedtime, you can either fight, argue, and yell until the first hours of the morning, or you can simply accept the conflict is what it is right now, go to bed and wake in a much better state to handle the conflict.  The Sooner Your Stop Assuming, The Better  Most couples therapists point out that when people assume they know what their spouses are thinking, they’re usually 100% wrong.  The reason is oftentimes the same – a lot of couples view a situation strictly from only their perception of the situation. This gets worse when, without complete communication with each other, assumptions can start to flow in about what the other person is feeling, thinking, or doing. Most couples act on their own perception without fully solving the whole equation.  Instead of jumping into a conclusion wagon, it’s much better, even healthier, to ask questions. Ask questions based on what you know and confirm a complete understanding of it. Almost 100% of the time, you were wrong, and that’s not such a dreadful thing – because more than likely, you assumed the worst about your partner. It’s healthier and less stressful to cultivate a deeper connection with your spouse since you both understand each other’s point of view.  You will also need to understand that your partner and your relationship are dynamic and always changing – the second you find yourself in the “it used to be like this situation,” you’re trying to work the wrong way in time. A healthy relationship consists of doing small things regularly and checking in with each other. Small or huge gestures are great but what really shapes emotional kinship is listening to each other and becoming closely aware of each other aspirations and dreams.   

  Dec 30, 2020 685
• 18 Dec 2020
  Should You Upgrade or Replace Your Laptop?

  When you’ve used a laptop for two or three years, you’ll find yourself wondering whether or not you should buy a new one. With some much time and tons of reviews to consider a replacement, don’t write off that old system just yet. On a limited budget and a bit of technical expertise, you can grant your old system a new life, or at least buy yourself a few more months.  The various components in a laptop aren’t as easy to replace as those in a desktop computer, but it is definitely possible to upgrade a laptop if you have the patience and the right tools. To determine if upgrading is the right choice for you, consider our suggestions below.  My Laptop is Too Slow If your laptop isn’t as fast as it used to be, there are a few ways you can get it working like new that doesn’t involve immediate replacement. Your laptop might have an outdated operating system, or it could have been infected with malware – you don’t know that yet, so don’t rush. The primary hardware that determines the speed of a computer is the RAM and CPU. You could upgrade these components, but it isn’t as easy as you thought, especially on laptops. Actually, if you find that either it is damaged or not up to par with your needs, replacing the laptop is preferably a smart move. However, of the two, the memory part is the easiest to deal with. If you would like to change bad memory sticks or need more RAM, and you’re fine with doing this yourself, you can oftentimes open the bottom of your laptop to do it. With that in mind, before you tear down your computer and replace something or trash the whole thing and buy a brand new one, ensure you at least try out a few easier and not at all costly things first. A slow system can make it seem like it requires replacement or upgrading when maybe all it needs is TLC. Check Available Free Storage If your hard drive is operating on free space, it can definitely grind things to freeze up and make programs and apps slower, or files take forever to save. So, make sure you check your available hard drive space just to be sure.   Reboot If your laptop has not been rebooted lately, make sure to reboot it before considering a replacement. Rebooting your laptop can fix many problems and is an easy first step. Background programs One of the most common reasons for a slow laptop is programs running in the background. Disable or remove any TSRs and startup apps that automatically start each time the laptop boots. Delete Junk Files Temporary files usually take up loads of free space, contributing to a full hard drive and compounding the performance by making apps and programs operate harder or take longer to complete their tasks. Make sure you clean the cache in your web browser. Those files are safe to remove, but when ignored and given time, they will definitely slow down your web browsing and potentially even the whole system. Need More Storage When performing the above tasks didn’t offer enough storage – or you need a second hard drive for your laptop to store data or backup files, consider using an external hard drive to increase your computer storage. The best part about external devices is that they’re actually external connecting to any rent to own laptops over USB instead of sitting inside the computer’s casing like the primary HDD. These upgrades will provide an instant additional hard drive space for whatever purpose, collection of videos, music or games, software installation files, etc. Tip: Purchasing an external hard drive is much easier; in some cases, even cheaper than replacing the internal one. The Laptop Screen Is Bad A poor laptop screen might make it impossible for you to do anything. Replacing or repairing the screen is undeniably attainable and isn’t as costly as replacing the entire computer. Before throwing yourself on the first sparky deal, make sure you research for your specific laptop or at least one that’s similar to your old one. You might be able to find a detailed and step-by-step repair guide on replacing your particular laptop screen.  In case your laptop happens to be more stationary than mobile, a solution would be to simply plug a monitor into HDMI or VGA on the back of the laptop. The Laptop Won’t Charge Sometimes, though, you plug in the AC adapter – usually because the battery is almost drained – and you get nothing. No brightened display, no glowing lights, and no “battery charging” icon in the corner. It sounds silly, but before considering an immediate replacement, you need to make sure your computer is actually plugged in. Check the AC adapter and verify that any removable cables are adequately inserted - and make sure the AC is correctly seated in its compartment. Lose the Battery If your laptop comes with a removable battery, remove it, and hold the power button for nearly 15 seconds just to deplete any residual power from the device. Then with the laptop’s battery still removed, plug in the power cord and turn the laptop on. If the laptop seems to work properly, that means your power adaptor is working properly, and the issue is likely a bum battery. Even though you can always re-install the battery and try again – maybe the battery was just wrongly positioned. Suppose the computer doesn’t have a visible battery cell on the bottom. In that case, it may be integrated into the laptop (like Macs are), and you’ll have to take it to a professional to test the battery. You Just Want Something New  Sometimes, it’s just time to invest that hard-earned money in something that really suits you, if only because you’re ready for something new, faster, and better. But don’t be hasty. Do the research, educate yourself on the latest models and get the right tool for your needs.  

  748 Posted by Cynthia Madison
• By Cynthia Madison

  Should You Upgrade or Replace Your Laptop?

  When you’ve used a laptop for two or three years, you’ll find yourself wondering whether or not you should buy a new one. With some much time and tons of reviews to consider a replacement, don’t write off that old system just yet. On a limited budget and a bit of technical expertise, you can grant your old system a new life, or at least buy yourself a few more months.  The various components in a laptop aren’t as easy to replace as those in a desktop computer, but it is definitely possible to upgrade a laptop if you have the patience and the right tools. To determine if upgrading is the right choice for you, consider our suggestions below.  My Laptop is Too Slow If your laptop isn’t as fast as it used to be, there are a few ways you can get it working like new that doesn’t involve immediate replacement. Your laptop might have an outdated operating system, or it could have been infected with malware – you don’t know that yet, so don’t rush. The primary hardware that determines the speed of a computer is the RAM and CPU. You could upgrade these components, but it isn’t as easy as you thought, especially on laptops. Actually, if you find that either it is damaged or not up to par with your needs, replacing the laptop is preferably a smart move. However, of the two, the memory part is the easiest to deal with. If you would like to change bad memory sticks or need more RAM, and you’re fine with doing this yourself, you can oftentimes open the bottom of your laptop to do it. With that in mind, before you tear down your computer and replace something or trash the whole thing and buy a brand new one, ensure you at least try out a few easier and not at all costly things first. A slow system can make it seem like it requires replacement or upgrading when maybe all it needs is TLC. Check Available Free Storage If your hard drive is operating on free space, it can definitely grind things to freeze up and make programs and apps slower, or files take forever to save. So, make sure you check your available hard drive space just to be sure.   Reboot If your laptop has not been rebooted lately, make sure to reboot it before considering a replacement. Rebooting your laptop can fix many problems and is an easy first step. Background programs One of the most common reasons for a slow laptop is programs running in the background. Disable or remove any TSRs and startup apps that automatically start each time the laptop boots. Delete Junk Files Temporary files usually take up loads of free space, contributing to a full hard drive and compounding the performance by making apps and programs operate harder or take longer to complete their tasks. Make sure you clean the cache in your web browser. Those files are safe to remove, but when ignored and given time, they will definitely slow down your web browsing and potentially even the whole system. Need More Storage When performing the above tasks didn’t offer enough storage – or you need a second hard drive for your laptop to store data or backup files, consider using an external hard drive to increase your computer storage. The best part about external devices is that they’re actually external connecting to any rent to own laptops over USB instead of sitting inside the computer’s casing like the primary HDD. These upgrades will provide an instant additional hard drive space for whatever purpose, collection of videos, music or games, software installation files, etc. Tip: Purchasing an external hard drive is much easier; in some cases, even cheaper than replacing the internal one. The Laptop Screen Is Bad A poor laptop screen might make it impossible for you to do anything. Replacing or repairing the screen is undeniably attainable and isn’t as costly as replacing the entire computer. Before throwing yourself on the first sparky deal, make sure you research for your specific laptop or at least one that’s similar to your old one. You might be able to find a detailed and step-by-step repair guide on replacing your particular laptop screen.  In case your laptop happens to be more stationary than mobile, a solution would be to simply plug a monitor into HDMI or VGA on the back of the laptop. The Laptop Won’t Charge Sometimes, though, you plug in the AC adapter – usually because the battery is almost drained – and you get nothing. No brightened display, no glowing lights, and no “battery charging” icon in the corner. It sounds silly, but before considering an immediate replacement, you need to make sure your computer is actually plugged in. Check the AC adapter and verify that any removable cables are adequately inserted - and make sure the AC is correctly seated in its compartment. Lose the Battery If your laptop comes with a removable battery, remove it, and hold the power button for nearly 15 seconds just to deplete any residual power from the device. Then with the laptop’s battery still removed, plug in the power cord and turn the laptop on. If the laptop seems to work properly, that means your power adaptor is working properly, and the issue is likely a bum battery. Even though you can always re-install the battery and try again – maybe the battery was just wrongly positioned. Suppose the computer doesn’t have a visible battery cell on the bottom. In that case, it may be integrated into the laptop (like Macs are), and you’ll have to take it to a professional to test the battery. You Just Want Something New  Sometimes, it’s just time to invest that hard-earned money in something that really suits you, if only because you’re ready for something new, faster, and better. But don’t be hasty. Do the research, educate yourself on the latest models and get the right tool for your needs.  

  Dec 18, 2020 748
• 23 Nov 2020
  Want to buy a family car? Here are 7 tips to help you get the b

  Does your family need a new car? We have a few tips on how to make sure you get the best deal.  Looking for the perfect car for your family can be a daunting experience. You’re about to make a huge and long-term investment, meaning that you want to make sure you make the right decision.  When you are buying a family car, there’s so much to consider besides its design: is there enough room for children to fit comfortably? Enough space for bulky baggage? What about safety features?  If you need some help to make sure you choose a car that is perfectly suited to your family needs, read our seven tips for purchasing a family vehicle.  Understand your budget As it is with making any other investment, the starting point is your budget because it will help determine your options.  Now, it may sound obvious that you need to know how much you can afford to pay for your new car. Yet, what most car buyers forget about when purchasing a new vehicle is that the car’s price doesn’t just represent its sticker price. You also need to take costs like licensing, registration fees, taxes, fuel, and regular maintenance into consideration when calculating your budget.  So, double-check your budget to see how much you can afford to pay for the car so that you can have enough money to pay for all these additional costs as well.  Consider your future journeys When purchasing a new family car, you also need to consider what you will be using it for so that you better understand your family’s needs.  Will you be using your new car for long commutes, rides around town, or city center driving? Depending on how much you’ll be using the car, you need to choose something more economical.  Also, if you and your family are planning to use the car for long trips around the country, you need to consider aspects like comfort, space, and easiness to drive the vehicle.  What’s more, when looking for a new car for your family, make sure you understand that your family can have different needs than other families. Sure, maybe your friends who are also parents find a certain car suitable for their family. Yet, their families’ needs are likely different than yours.  For example, maybe your friend drives a Volkswagen Golf, a car that is often marketed as an excellent family car. Yet, maybe this car isn’t quite suitable if you have a large family because this car is not that spacious. On the flip side, your friend may think that Ford Focus isn’t a good family car because it may not be suitable for their family’s needs. In that case, we recommend you knowing exactly what your family’s needs are and visiting both a Ford dealership and a Volkswagen dealership to decide on your own which car is best for you.              Choose a four-door car If you are buying a car for your family, we highly recommend you to choose a four-door body vehicle.  Think about it: a three-door car may be a suitable option at the beginning when it just you and your spouse. Yet, a baby comes on board, and after a few months of leaning in the back to install an infant seat from the driver’s door, will soon start to feel on your back. If your family is going to expand, it is time to consider a more family-friendly four-door car.  Safety features Keeping your family safe on the road is by far the most important thing to consider.  If there’s one thing you want for your family is to know that it is always safe, no matter where they are. So, when looking for a family car, make sure you consider whether or not it has high-tech safety features that will keep you and your loved ones safe on the road.  What kind of safety features should you be looking for in a car? You should look for advanced safety systems such as seat belts and child safety, autonomous emergency braking, stability control, and anti-lock brakes, reversing cameras, adaptive cruise control, auto parking, and blind-spot assist.  Look for child-friendly features Child-friendly features are not necessarily a must-have, but if you have some extra money in your budget for your family car, we recommend investing in them. What exactly are these child-friendly features? Integrated sunblinds, dark interiors which can hide stains your kids will probably make, or extra storage spaces, plus entertainment features such as built-in DVD players, Bluetooth connectivity, and speakers that provide actual surround sound.  Consider space and storage Having kids can reshape what storage means to you. When you leave on the road alone, you likely have a bag or two that perfectly fit in the trunk. But then, when kids come on board, there are a million other things you need to take with you wherever you go, from strollers to lots of essentials like baby wipes, clothes, and baby bottles.  When you leave for a trip, or even for a ride to the supermarket, with your kids in the car, there are going to be a lot more things you need to store in your car. So, when looking for a family car, make sure you consider the space and storage it offers.  Can your kids fit comfortably in the rear seats? Will the car provide enough room for all the things you need to carry around all the time? If the answer is “no,” you should look for a more spacious vehicle.  Consider running costs As mentioned above, a car costs a lot more than just its sticker price. So, when purchasing a new car, you also need to make sure that you can afford to maintain it.  Besides regular maintenance, you must also consider surprise maintenance. If the car would suddenly break and you couldn’t afford to fix it, this means that you probably can’t actually afford the car you are thinking about buying. 

  1056 Posted by Cynthia Madison
• By Cynthia Madison

  Want to buy a family car? Here are 7 tips to help you get the b

  Does your family need a new car? We have a few tips on how to make sure you get the best deal.  Looking for the perfect car for your family can be a daunting experience. You’re about to make a huge and long-term investment, meaning that you want to make sure you make the right decision.  When you are buying a family car, there’s so much to consider besides its design: is there enough room for children to fit comfortably? Enough space for bulky baggage? What about safety features?  If you need some help to make sure you choose a car that is perfectly suited to your family needs, read our seven tips for purchasing a family vehicle.  Understand your budget As it is with making any other investment, the starting point is your budget because it will help determine your options.  Now, it may sound obvious that you need to know how much you can afford to pay for your new car. Yet, what most car buyers forget about when purchasing a new vehicle is that the car’s price doesn’t just represent its sticker price. You also need to take costs like licensing, registration fees, taxes, fuel, and regular maintenance into consideration when calculating your budget.  So, double-check your budget to see how much you can afford to pay for the car so that you can have enough money to pay for all these additional costs as well.  Consider your future journeys When purchasing a new family car, you also need to consider what you will be using it for so that you better understand your family’s needs.  Will you be using your new car for long commutes, rides around town, or city center driving? Depending on how much you’ll be using the car, you need to choose something more economical.  Also, if you and your family are planning to use the car for long trips around the country, you need to consider aspects like comfort, space, and easiness to drive the vehicle.  What’s more, when looking for a new car for your family, make sure you understand that your family can have different needs than other families. Sure, maybe your friends who are also parents find a certain car suitable for their family. Yet, their families’ needs are likely different than yours.  For example, maybe your friend drives a Volkswagen Golf, a car that is often marketed as an excellent family car. Yet, maybe this car isn’t quite suitable if you have a large family because this car is not that spacious. On the flip side, your friend may think that Ford Focus isn’t a good family car because it may not be suitable for their family’s needs. In that case, we recommend you knowing exactly what your family’s needs are and visiting both a Ford dealership and a Volkswagen dealership to decide on your own which car is best for you.              Choose a four-door car If you are buying a car for your family, we highly recommend you to choose a four-door body vehicle.  Think about it: a three-door car may be a suitable option at the beginning when it just you and your spouse. Yet, a baby comes on board, and after a few months of leaning in the back to install an infant seat from the driver’s door, will soon start to feel on your back. If your family is going to expand, it is time to consider a more family-friendly four-door car.  Safety features Keeping your family safe on the road is by far the most important thing to consider.  If there’s one thing you want for your family is to know that it is always safe, no matter where they are. So, when looking for a family car, make sure you consider whether or not it has high-tech safety features that will keep you and your loved ones safe on the road.  What kind of safety features should you be looking for in a car? You should look for advanced safety systems such as seat belts and child safety, autonomous emergency braking, stability control, and anti-lock brakes, reversing cameras, adaptive cruise control, auto parking, and blind-spot assist.  Look for child-friendly features Child-friendly features are not necessarily a must-have, but if you have some extra money in your budget for your family car, we recommend investing in them. What exactly are these child-friendly features? Integrated sunblinds, dark interiors which can hide stains your kids will probably make, or extra storage spaces, plus entertainment features such as built-in DVD players, Bluetooth connectivity, and speakers that provide actual surround sound.  Consider space and storage Having kids can reshape what storage means to you. When you leave on the road alone, you likely have a bag or two that perfectly fit in the trunk. But then, when kids come on board, there are a million other things you need to take with you wherever you go, from strollers to lots of essentials like baby wipes, clothes, and baby bottles.  When you leave for a trip, or even for a ride to the supermarket, with your kids in the car, there are going to be a lot more things you need to store in your car. So, when looking for a family car, make sure you consider the space and storage it offers.  Can your kids fit comfortably in the rear seats? Will the car provide enough room for all the things you need to carry around all the time? If the answer is “no,” you should look for a more spacious vehicle.  Consider running costs As mentioned above, a car costs a lot more than just its sticker price. So, when purchasing a new car, you also need to make sure that you can afford to maintain it.  Besides regular maintenance, you must also consider surprise maintenance. If the car would suddenly break and you couldn’t afford to fix it, this means that you probably can’t actually afford the car you are thinking about buying. 

  Nov 23, 2020 1056
• 28 Oct 2020
  How to Avoid Being Distracted While Driving

  Annually, thousands of people lose their lives because of distractions while they drive. Almost everyone is guilty in some way – in fact, distracted drivers are everywhere if you look around you. Whether they’re on the phone, changing the music, doing their makeup, or eating and drinking, drivers literally forget that those activities should be avoided entirely while they’re on the road. You can start by putting your phone on silent and park your car before you start eating. These are such important things to consider, although you might feel like you control everything. Driving with other passengers might make you prevent distractions, but they mustn’t become a distraction to you! Distracted driving and impaired driving are some of the biggest threats when it comes to everyone’s safety. It really doesn’t matter if you are a new or an expert driver; when you get behind the wheel, you shouldn’t be drunk, eating, or doing any other activity that doesn’t imply paying attention to the road. Innocent people’s lives are taken away daily because of distracted driving. Don’t take risks! Learn how to be a better and more focused driver. Don’t use your cellphone This probably looks familiar to you already, as using the cellphone while driving doesn’t represent a problem for any driver. But it should be used only for emergency purposes, so it’s best to pull over if your phone rings and you really need to take the call. Don’t believe that wireless earphones will save you from crashing in the traffic! Even those can still make you distracted from necessary visual or audio signals while driving. Again, social convos on the phone should not be carried while driving. Moreover, it’s against the law to do such activities while driving; you could be ticked. So, avoid handheld devices while you’re behind the wheel; it could cost your life. If you are sleepy, pull off the road If you ever feel drowsy while you drive, make sure you pull over and take a moment to refresh yourself a bit. Although this cannot compare with a nap or a few hours of good sleep, it could definitely help you avoid a crash on the side road. Sleepiness increases the risk of car accidents significantly. A study showed that 37% of drivers in the U.S. are falling asleep during their driving. If you feel tired, get off the road – trying to get home faster can make you experience horrible things. In fact, you should pull off the road whenever you want to do something that isn’t meant to be done while you’re driving. This can include taking phone calls, eating, drinking, attending your children, etc. And don’t forget to always choose a less busy street to avoid other drivers smash into you. Limit the level of your activities while driving Limiting the level of activities while driving is extremely important, as well as limiting the number of passengers you bring with you. Many countries don’t allow teen drivers to drive with other teen passengers during their first months of driving. Inexperienced teen drivers must be aware of the dangerous environment that could focus more on their friends and less on the road. This is also applicable for other drivers; The interaction with other passengers might put everyone at risk, so it’s best to keep your hands on the wheel and eyes on the road. Avoid complicated tasks by using technology instead. Supply your car with proper equipment to complete your tasks, such as voice-activated systems, handheld devices, cameras and sensors, and other safety technology that can help you keep your attention to the road. Avoid eating and drinking while driving Being busy shouldn’t be an excuse to get distracted while driving. It may seem like you’re saving time if you finish your breakfast while driving, but it’s much more important to save your life. You could spill drinks and drop food, because let’s face it, no matter how multitasking we think we are, we must also be aware of this major cause of distraction. Even though you might not have enough time to finish your breakfast or lunch at home, you could pull off the road in a safe place to eat. Drivers must do only one thing while on the road: Drive! Multitasking while driving, including chatting, texting, or social media interaction, should be avoided altogether.  Get organized This is another important step for keeping you out of distractions. Remove clutter from your car, organize your documents, and properly store them before hitting the road. Finish your personal grooming at home! Give yourself enough time in the morning to finish breakfast, get dressed, apply makeup, shave, etc. It’s best to wake up earlier and get things done before you walk out of the house. This will help you avoid distractions while driving. If you don’t have enough time in the morning, bring your stuff with you and stop somewhere to finish your morning routine. Get more organized with yourself, especially while driving. Also, avoid angry drivers – if they cut you off, or make inappropriate face gestures, try to simply ignore them and continue driving. Save everything for later or before you start driving Before you start your car:   Ensure you secure all your movable objects so they don’t fall or distract you from your driving.   Place everything in a secure bag and avoid reaching those objects unless you stop the car somewhere safe.   Adjust the climate, radio, mirrors, seat, and other car’s controls beforehand.   Everyone spends most of their time in their cars, so they’ve created a habit to do all those little things done while driving, such as searching for good music, trying to reach certain objects, having phone conversations, text messaging, etc. It’s simple: don’t do it! Your priority is to focus on the road and complete any activity before you start driving. Take the necessary time to drive correctly. Your goal is to keep yourself and other passengers safe on the road. 

  1623 Posted by Cynthia Madison
• By Cynthia Madison

  How to Avoid Being Distracted While Driving

  Annually, thousands of people lose their lives because of distractions while they drive. Almost everyone is guilty in some way – in fact, distracted drivers are everywhere if you look around you. Whether they’re on the phone, changing the music, doing their makeup, or eating and drinking, drivers literally forget that those activities should be avoided entirely while they’re on the road. You can start by putting your phone on silent and park your car before you start eating. These are such important things to consider, although you might feel like you control everything. Driving with other passengers might make you prevent distractions, but they mustn’t become a distraction to you! Distracted driving and impaired driving are some of the biggest threats when it comes to everyone’s safety. It really doesn’t matter if you are a new or an expert driver; when you get behind the wheel, you shouldn’t be drunk, eating, or doing any other activity that doesn’t imply paying attention to the road. Innocent people’s lives are taken away daily because of distracted driving. Don’t take risks! Learn how to be a better and more focused driver. Don’t use your cellphone This probably looks familiar to you already, as using the cellphone while driving doesn’t represent a problem for any driver. But it should be used only for emergency purposes, so it’s best to pull over if your phone rings and you really need to take the call. Don’t believe that wireless earphones will save you from crashing in the traffic! Even those can still make you distracted from necessary visual or audio signals while driving. Again, social convos on the phone should not be carried while driving. Moreover, it’s against the law to do such activities while driving; you could be ticked. So, avoid handheld devices while you’re behind the wheel; it could cost your life. If you are sleepy, pull off the road If you ever feel drowsy while you drive, make sure you pull over and take a moment to refresh yourself a bit. Although this cannot compare with a nap or a few hours of good sleep, it could definitely help you avoid a crash on the side road. Sleepiness increases the risk of car accidents significantly. A study showed that 37% of drivers in the U.S. are falling asleep during their driving. If you feel tired, get off the road – trying to get home faster can make you experience horrible things. In fact, you should pull off the road whenever you want to do something that isn’t meant to be done while you’re driving. This can include taking phone calls, eating, drinking, attending your children, etc. And don’t forget to always choose a less busy street to avoid other drivers smash into you. Limit the level of your activities while driving Limiting the level of activities while driving is extremely important, as well as limiting the number of passengers you bring with you. Many countries don’t allow teen drivers to drive with other teen passengers during their first months of driving. Inexperienced teen drivers must be aware of the dangerous environment that could focus more on their friends and less on the road. This is also applicable for other drivers; The interaction with other passengers might put everyone at risk, so it’s best to keep your hands on the wheel and eyes on the road. Avoid complicated tasks by using technology instead. Supply your car with proper equipment to complete your tasks, such as voice-activated systems, handheld devices, cameras and sensors, and other safety technology that can help you keep your attention to the road. Avoid eating and drinking while driving Being busy shouldn’t be an excuse to get distracted while driving. It may seem like you’re saving time if you finish your breakfast while driving, but it’s much more important to save your life. You could spill drinks and drop food, because let’s face it, no matter how multitasking we think we are, we must also be aware of this major cause of distraction. Even though you might not have enough time to finish your breakfast or lunch at home, you could pull off the road in a safe place to eat. Drivers must do only one thing while on the road: Drive! Multitasking while driving, including chatting, texting, or social media interaction, should be avoided altogether.  Get organized This is another important step for keeping you out of distractions. Remove clutter from your car, organize your documents, and properly store them before hitting the road. Finish your personal grooming at home! Give yourself enough time in the morning to finish breakfast, get dressed, apply makeup, shave, etc. It’s best to wake up earlier and get things done before you walk out of the house. This will help you avoid distractions while driving. If you don’t have enough time in the morning, bring your stuff with you and stop somewhere to finish your morning routine. Get more organized with yourself, especially while driving. Also, avoid angry drivers – if they cut you off, or make inappropriate face gestures, try to simply ignore them and continue driving. Save everything for later or before you start driving Before you start your car:   Ensure you secure all your movable objects so they don’t fall or distract you from your driving.   Place everything in a secure bag and avoid reaching those objects unless you stop the car somewhere safe.   Adjust the climate, radio, mirrors, seat, and other car’s controls beforehand.   Everyone spends most of their time in their cars, so they’ve created a habit to do all those little things done while driving, such as searching for good music, trying to reach certain objects, having phone conversations, text messaging, etc. It’s simple: don’t do it! Your priority is to focus on the road and complete any activity before you start driving. Take the necessary time to drive correctly. Your goal is to keep yourself and other passengers safe on the road. 

  Oct 28, 2020 1623
• 27 Oct 2020
  Office Upgrade: Small Changes That Can Boost Your Productivity

  For home-workers, the central part of their work-life is the home office. For some, that would mean the kitchen table; for most of us, a specific room to be the headquarters of operations and try to work from there each day. Now that we have to consider strategy before tactics, it makes sense that we should make it the room we enjoy being in, and also a space that gets us in a productive flow state, and by considering these things provide a strategic framework to hacks, we can implement in the office. At home, you have control over least most of the features of your environment, while in a corporate environment, you’ve pretty much just got your desk to upgrade. With that said, we decided to take a look at the best work habits, design, and office improvement ideas that are not only suitable for remote working but create an ideal, concentration-boosting environment. What puts you in a productive mood?  That's a central question to defining your work environment. Maybe being reminded of your goals, your purpose – the reason you do this each day- is enough to get your creative juices flowing—a great way to start upgrading your working space by reminding yourself of these goals every day. Perhaps there is a minimalist approach that puts you in the right mindset, so pop all the pads and pens on your desk in a cupboard and get rid of those browser shortcuts on your desktop.  If you can't find your "why" – you can't bear your "how." So as long as you can't identify the things that trigger your productive flow, you'll have a rough time improving your office on anything more than an aesthetic level.  Lighting and color.  Lighting, believe it or not, can considerably impact the way you concentrate and do your work. Today, according to recent studies, it seems that the lighting system in the working environment has a deeper impact on our lives than we had ever known.  What's more, according to a study, Philips claims that there is a valuable connection between light and circadian rhythms, also known as "build-in-clocks," which is what determines our relaxation, sleep cycle, and stimulation. Not only that, but the light has also been proved to decrease depression as well as improve our mood, energy, productivity, and alertness.  As for colors, it's been said that the color of walls in a working environment can influence not only your mood but it can also cause more arguments and stress in a relationship (yellow being that color). In case your home office happens to be painted with an aggravating shade, then repaint it. If the current color does nothing for you either way – find a color that influences you, which puts you in a productive and relaxed mood.  A good chair.  It's quite simple to overlook the effects of your working space on your ability to be productive. If you're currently using a dining or deck chair, which supposedly isn't made at the proper high, they don't necessarily encourage the needed working posture.  Consider an adjustable professional chair such as those from Aeron, where you can set the right fit for your workspace and body. However, these chairs typically reach $600 or more- but there are also more affordable alternatives around $150 and $250 that will do the thing.  Be sure you test them personally, if possible, and reach for one with adjustable height that can roll and offer enough lumbar support for your needs. An armrest is also ideal, but only if you know to use it properly.  Proper monitor height.  Invest in a large monitor (maybe two) for your small productive corner- just as you would at the corporate office. Not only a larger monitor would go surprisingly well with your new setup, but it will encourage you to be more proactive during your most demanding tasks. Remember to keep a phone only for working purposes as you don't want to mix your professional pressure with at-home pressure- if your budget is limited, you can find one on those buy now pay later phones no credit check websites.  As for your monitors, those from Asus and Acer came up with ideal 24-to 27-inch monitors, but any major brand will offer high-quality monitors. What to avoid? Don't skimp on buying the cheapest product as they can easily lead to eye strain over time due to their lower resolution and thus amplified fuzziness. Although display resolutions are only available in a whole alphabet soup of terms, you should look for one that offers you desired higher sharpness, such as QHD, QWXGA, WQHD, or 4K. Broadly speaking, the display connector may reduce the screen resolution, which can make screens larger than 25-inch appear quite fuzzy. But if you're aiming at the best video quality, then look for monitors and computers that support HDMI 2.x, USB-C connectors, or DisplayPort.  Good internet connection.  Most suburban and urban areas come up with at least one high-speed internet provider; 50Mbps is the minimum speed available, and the more internet users this provider has in one place, the more you want to get a higher-speed.  What's to note is that your bandwidth within your house matter, as well as some of the best connections, are wired Ethernet, so if that's possible, try to connect your PC to your router using an Ethernet cable – WI-FI works great too, but that's only for basic office work, therefore you can't connect your PC to the router, try WI-FI.  When it comes to the perfect home-office setup, there are no hard-and-fast rules. There are only hacks for productivity and small upgrades that work for each of us. If these upgrades don't work for you, that's fine – you got the liberty to experiment until you find what works best for you. What matters the most is being happy and motivated in your home office and that you never stop trying to improve it.    

  2263 Posted by Cynthia Madison
• By Cynthia Madison

  Office Upgrade: Small Changes That Can Boost Your Productivity

  For home-workers, the central part of their work-life is the home office. For some, that would mean the kitchen table; for most of us, a specific room to be the headquarters of operations and try to work from there each day. Now that we have to consider strategy before tactics, it makes sense that we should make it the room we enjoy being in, and also a space that gets us in a productive flow state, and by considering these things provide a strategic framework to hacks, we can implement in the office. At home, you have control over least most of the features of your environment, while in a corporate environment, you’ve pretty much just got your desk to upgrade. With that said, we decided to take a look at the best work habits, design, and office improvement ideas that are not only suitable for remote working but create an ideal, concentration-boosting environment. What puts you in a productive mood?  That's a central question to defining your work environment. Maybe being reminded of your goals, your purpose – the reason you do this each day- is enough to get your creative juices flowing—a great way to start upgrading your working space by reminding yourself of these goals every day. Perhaps there is a minimalist approach that puts you in the right mindset, so pop all the pads and pens on your desk in a cupboard and get rid of those browser shortcuts on your desktop.  If you can't find your "why" – you can't bear your "how." So as long as you can't identify the things that trigger your productive flow, you'll have a rough time improving your office on anything more than an aesthetic level.  Lighting and color.  Lighting, believe it or not, can considerably impact the way you concentrate and do your work. Today, according to recent studies, it seems that the lighting system in the working environment has a deeper impact on our lives than we had ever known.  What's more, according to a study, Philips claims that there is a valuable connection between light and circadian rhythms, also known as "build-in-clocks," which is what determines our relaxation, sleep cycle, and stimulation. Not only that, but the light has also been proved to decrease depression as well as improve our mood, energy, productivity, and alertness.  As for colors, it's been said that the color of walls in a working environment can influence not only your mood but it can also cause more arguments and stress in a relationship (yellow being that color). In case your home office happens to be painted with an aggravating shade, then repaint it. If the current color does nothing for you either way – find a color that influences you, which puts you in a productive and relaxed mood.  A good chair.  It's quite simple to overlook the effects of your working space on your ability to be productive. If you're currently using a dining or deck chair, which supposedly isn't made at the proper high, they don't necessarily encourage the needed working posture.  Consider an adjustable professional chair such as those from Aeron, where you can set the right fit for your workspace and body. However, these chairs typically reach $600 or more- but there are also more affordable alternatives around $150 and $250 that will do the thing.  Be sure you test them personally, if possible, and reach for one with adjustable height that can roll and offer enough lumbar support for your needs. An armrest is also ideal, but only if you know to use it properly.  Proper monitor height.  Invest in a large monitor (maybe two) for your small productive corner- just as you would at the corporate office. Not only a larger monitor would go surprisingly well with your new setup, but it will encourage you to be more proactive during your most demanding tasks. Remember to keep a phone only for working purposes as you don't want to mix your professional pressure with at-home pressure- if your budget is limited, you can find one on those buy now pay later phones no credit check websites.  As for your monitors, those from Asus and Acer came up with ideal 24-to 27-inch monitors, but any major brand will offer high-quality monitors. What to avoid? Don't skimp on buying the cheapest product as they can easily lead to eye strain over time due to their lower resolution and thus amplified fuzziness. Although display resolutions are only available in a whole alphabet soup of terms, you should look for one that offers you desired higher sharpness, such as QHD, QWXGA, WQHD, or 4K. Broadly speaking, the display connector may reduce the screen resolution, which can make screens larger than 25-inch appear quite fuzzy. But if you're aiming at the best video quality, then look for monitors and computers that support HDMI 2.x, USB-C connectors, or DisplayPort.  Good internet connection.  Most suburban and urban areas come up with at least one high-speed internet provider; 50Mbps is the minimum speed available, and the more internet users this provider has in one place, the more you want to get a higher-speed.  What's to note is that your bandwidth within your house matter, as well as some of the best connections, are wired Ethernet, so if that's possible, try to connect your PC to your router using an Ethernet cable – WI-FI works great too, but that's only for basic office work, therefore you can't connect your PC to the router, try WI-FI.  When it comes to the perfect home-office setup, there are no hard-and-fast rules. There are only hacks for productivity and small upgrades that work for each of us. If these upgrades don't work for you, that's fine – you got the liberty to experiment until you find what works best for you. What matters the most is being happy and motivated in your home office and that you never stop trying to improve it.    

  Oct 27, 2020 2263
• 29 Sep 2020
  5 Tips on Planning Your First Vacation as a Couple

  For the past few months, you’ve been scrolling through your social media, looking at photos of your friends with their significant others frolicking on beaches in exotic destinations. You felt a little bit of envy, but you decided that it’s way too soon to go on a vacation as a couple. You hadn’t been together for that long, and you needed more time to get to know each other. But now you feel ready. You’ve waited long enough! You’re excited and nervous at the same time. You know that this is an important milestone, and you’ll always remember your first trip together. When you look back, you want your memories to revolve around romantic walks and deep conversation against a backdrop of breath-taking scenery. You certainly don’t want them to include huge fights caused by the many things that can go awry when traveling. Although traveling as a couple for the first time has its challenges, with our list of tips, you can avoid unnecessary tension and spend your time enjoying each other’s company. Where Should We Go? Most likely, you have a list of countries you’d like to visit, and so does your partner. If you compare two lists of at least ten possible options, chances are you’re going to find some matches. Once you agree on a country, you can start discussing what region and what activities you’re most interested in.  This is also a great opportunity to find out more about each other. As in any aspect of a relationship, it’s important to keep an open mind and compromise. Even the most compatible couple won’t be 100% interested in the same activities. As long as you allocate an equal amount of time so you both can enjoy your vacation, you’ll be off to a great start.  Set a Budget  Money is one of the most common things couples fight about, so you’ll want to set a budget before you leave. If you don’t have similar income levels, the partner with a higher income might expect to stay at a five-star hotel and splurge on luxury adventures. If you make less money than your partner, tell them that although you also want them to have a good time, you simply can’t afford X, Y, or Z activities.  On the other hand, if you’re the one that makes more money and you insist on some things that your partner can’t afford, you should be prepared to pay for them without making them feel bad. You’re certainly not required to split everything equally, but you’ll need to agree on a fair ratio.  Make a Rough Itinerary Your itinerary will depend on your destination and budget. As we mentioned before, your definitions of a good time won’t match perfectly, so it’s essential to discuss it before you leave so you don’t risk having fights while you’re there. Ask your partner what the top five things that they would like to do on this vacation are. Make your own list and then compare notes.  Don’t plan your day to the last minute because you may be able to power through the first three or four days, but eventually, you’ll get tired and cranky. And aren’t vacations supposed to be about relaxing? Regarding activities, on some things, if they don’t take a lot of time, you can go solo. For example, you like visiting history museums, and your partner doesn’t. They like walking around the city, taking photos. You could spend a couple of hours at the museum while they walk around. Still, most of your activities you’ll be doing together, and you may not even be used to spending that much time together.   Once again, you’ll have to compromise. Maybe you think an activity is stupid or boring, but it’s important to your partner, and it’s their vacation too. This is one of the great things about relationships. You get to try new things, and you may even discover that you enjoy them. Think of it as an opportunity to dive into their world and form a stronger bond.  You Don’t Have to Spend Every Waking Minute Together No matter how much two people love each other, they probably don’t want to spend every waking minute together. Since this is your first trip, it might be the first time you’re together 24/7 for so long. For this reason, if you’re planning a longer trip, let’s say a week, you may want to forego the hotel and look for alternative accommodation. You’ll find lots of options. You can rent an apartment, a villa, or you can find a home exchange platform.  It’s usually cheaper, but the main advantage is that you’ll have more space and more privacy, instead of having to share just one room in a hotel. This way, you can have a bit of space and time for yourself when you feel like you need it.  Set Realistic Expectations  When you go on your first trip as a couple, it’s quite easy to get carried away and form these elaborate fantasies of everything being so romantic and magical all the time. If you leave with such high expectations, you’ll feel disappointed and frustrated when you realize that it’s more like a normal vacation and less like a Disney movie.  Even if this is the first time you travel with your partner, you’ve traveled before. You know that things can get awry. Your flight can get delayed. Your luggage can get lost. Maybe you’ll get a sunburn, food poisoning, or catch a cold. We don’t need to go over all the bad things that could happen because then we’d be going to the other extreme. The point is that it’ not going to be perfect, but that doesn’t matter.  Remember why you’re there. You want to have a good time with your SO and form a deeper connection. When you keep this in mind, any mishap can turn into an opportunity to show how much you care about each other and learn to work as a team. With the right attitude, you can find romance and joy in imperfect moments.  

  1909 Posted by Cynthia Madison
• By Cynthia Madison

  5 Tips on Planning Your First Vacation as a Couple

  For the past few months, you’ve been scrolling through your social media, looking at photos of your friends with their significant others frolicking on beaches in exotic destinations. You felt a little bit of envy, but you decided that it’s way too soon to go on a vacation as a couple. You hadn’t been together for that long, and you needed more time to get to know each other. But now you feel ready. You’ve waited long enough! You’re excited and nervous at the same time. You know that this is an important milestone, and you’ll always remember your first trip together. When you look back, you want your memories to revolve around romantic walks and deep conversation against a backdrop of breath-taking scenery. You certainly don’t want them to include huge fights caused by the many things that can go awry when traveling. Although traveling as a couple for the first time has its challenges, with our list of tips, you can avoid unnecessary tension and spend your time enjoying each other’s company. Where Should We Go? Most likely, you have a list of countries you’d like to visit, and so does your partner. If you compare two lists of at least ten possible options, chances are you’re going to find some matches. Once you agree on a country, you can start discussing what region and what activities you’re most interested in.  This is also a great opportunity to find out more about each other. As in any aspect of a relationship, it’s important to keep an open mind and compromise. Even the most compatible couple won’t be 100% interested in the same activities. As long as you allocate an equal amount of time so you both can enjoy your vacation, you’ll be off to a great start.  Set a Budget  Money is one of the most common things couples fight about, so you’ll want to set a budget before you leave. If you don’t have similar income levels, the partner with a higher income might expect to stay at a five-star hotel and splurge on luxury adventures. If you make less money than your partner, tell them that although you also want them to have a good time, you simply can’t afford X, Y, or Z activities.  On the other hand, if you’re the one that makes more money and you insist on some things that your partner can’t afford, you should be prepared to pay for them without making them feel bad. You’re certainly not required to split everything equally, but you’ll need to agree on a fair ratio.  Make a Rough Itinerary Your itinerary will depend on your destination and budget. As we mentioned before, your definitions of a good time won’t match perfectly, so it’s essential to discuss it before you leave so you don’t risk having fights while you’re there. Ask your partner what the top five things that they would like to do on this vacation are. Make your own list and then compare notes.  Don’t plan your day to the last minute because you may be able to power through the first three or four days, but eventually, you’ll get tired and cranky. And aren’t vacations supposed to be about relaxing? Regarding activities, on some things, if they don’t take a lot of time, you can go solo. For example, you like visiting history museums, and your partner doesn’t. They like walking around the city, taking photos. You could spend a couple of hours at the museum while they walk around. Still, most of your activities you’ll be doing together, and you may not even be used to spending that much time together.   Once again, you’ll have to compromise. Maybe you think an activity is stupid or boring, but it’s important to your partner, and it’s their vacation too. This is one of the great things about relationships. You get to try new things, and you may even discover that you enjoy them. Think of it as an opportunity to dive into their world and form a stronger bond.  You Don’t Have to Spend Every Waking Minute Together No matter how much two people love each other, they probably don’t want to spend every waking minute together. Since this is your first trip, it might be the first time you’re together 24/7 for so long. For this reason, if you’re planning a longer trip, let’s say a week, you may want to forego the hotel and look for alternative accommodation. You’ll find lots of options. You can rent an apartment, a villa, or you can find a home exchange platform.  It’s usually cheaper, but the main advantage is that you’ll have more space and more privacy, instead of having to share just one room in a hotel. This way, you can have a bit of space and time for yourself when you feel like you need it.  Set Realistic Expectations  When you go on your first trip as a couple, it’s quite easy to get carried away and form these elaborate fantasies of everything being so romantic and magical all the time. If you leave with such high expectations, you’ll feel disappointed and frustrated when you realize that it’s more like a normal vacation and less like a Disney movie.  Even if this is the first time you travel with your partner, you’ve traveled before. You know that things can get awry. Your flight can get delayed. Your luggage can get lost. Maybe you’ll get a sunburn, food poisoning, or catch a cold. We don’t need to go over all the bad things that could happen because then we’d be going to the other extreme. The point is that it’ not going to be perfect, but that doesn’t matter.  Remember why you’re there. You want to have a good time with your SO and form a deeper connection. When you keep this in mind, any mishap can turn into an opportunity to show how much you care about each other and learn to work as a team. With the right attitude, you can find romance and joy in imperfect moments.  

  Sep 29, 2020 1909
• 16 Sep 2020
  Overcoming Learned Helplessness

  Have you ever gone through periods where you got the sense that nothing you do has much impact on what's going on in your life? Did you feel ready to give up? When bad things happen to us, we all would like to believe that we'd do anything in our power to change things for the better, but it's not easy to stay strong when you're relentlessly subjected to challenging circumstances. We try to hold on, but at some point, we get tired of struggling. If all of this sounds familiar, you may have experienced what psychologists call "learned helplessness", a concept that's been observed in both humans as well as other animals and which we will explore in this article. We will discuss what learned helplessness is, its causes and what you can do to overcome it.  What Is Learned Helplessness? The concept of "learned helplessness" emerged in 1967 after a series of experiments on animals carried out by psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven F. Maier. They conditioned dogs by administering a mild shock whenever they heard a bell ring. Right now, you're probably thinking of ethical concerns regarding the use of animals in this type of research, but you need to keep in mind that these were different times.  After the dogs were conditioned, they were put in a large crate divided in two by a low fence. One side of the crate was wired to give mild shocks while the other side wasn't. To escape the shocks, the dogs would only have to hop the low fence and get to the safe side, but they didn't. They stayed put and simply took the chocks. The psychologists attributed this behaviour to the dogs having been conditioned that there was nothing they could do to stop the shocks because when they did the test on dogs that had not been conditioned, they easily jumped over the fence.  Since then, the concept of learned helplessness has been demonstrated on different animal species, including humans.  Learned Helplessness in Children and Adults When it comes to people, learned helplessness often stems from childhood experiences. For example, children raised in institutionalized settings or by unreliable and unresponsive caregivers often exhibit symptoms of this behavioural pattern.  In this sort of environment, children go through repeated experiences that reinforce feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. They may grow up with the belief that there is nothing they can do to change their problems, and they have to accept them as if these problems were their fate.  Common signed of learned helplessness in children include: Passivity Low self-esteem Poor motivation Frustration Procrastination Lack of effort Giving up Not asking for help Learned helplessness in children is also strongly linked to academic struggles. If a child makes efforts to do well in school and get good grades, but despite his or her efforts, they still do poorly, they might reach the conclusion that their performance is out of their control which will affect their self-worth.  They'll start to believe that they simply don't have what it takes to succeed, lose motivation, stop trying, and their grades will suffer even more. This learned helplessness regarding academic performance can, in turn, negatively impact their career prospects and affect their confidence and sense of self-worth as adults. In adults, we see signs of learned helplessness when a person doesn't learn or use adaptive responses when faced with difficult situations. They fail to resolve an issue despite there being a potential solution because they believe that bad things will happen no matter what they do, and since they have such little control, they should just accept it.  To give an example of learned helplessness in adults, victims of domestic abuse often hesitate to leave their abuser even if help and support are available because they develop a belief that they cannot escape this type of situation.  However, not everyone that goes through this type of experiences develops patterns of learned helplessness, and it appears that an individual's explanatory style plays a key role. The explanatory style, as the name suggests, is the way someone explains events to themselves. Individuals with a pessimistic explanatory style are more likely to experience learned helplessness because it causes them to view negative events as an unavoidable result of their shortcomings.  Learned Helplessness and Mental Health Learned helplessness may lead to higher levels of anxiety and can influence the persistence and severity of mental health conditions such as generalized anxiety disorder or depression. Moreover, learned helplessness might cause people experiencing anxiety and depression to see their symptoms as unavoidable and untreatable, so they refuse treatment. They enter a vicious circle where their feelings of helplessness and hopelessness intensify symptoms of anxiety or depression which in turn intensify their feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, convincing them that there's nothing they can do to improve their quality of life.  In reality, people can overcome learned helplessness and the most common and effective form of treatment is therapy, in particular, CBT or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.  Throughout their therapy sessions, a person with patterns of learned helplessness can: Explore the origins of their learned helplessness Identify the thought patterns that contribute to their learned helplessness Identify behavioural patterns that reinforce learned helplessness Replace these thoughts and behaviours with more beneficial ones Learn techniques that can decrease the distress caused by feelings of helplessness and hopelessness Learn to work through difficult emotions Talk about abuse, neglect or trauma they may have experienced Receive support and encouragement Learn how to set goals for themselves and how to follow through Ultimately, learned helplessness is a conditioned response – a response learned via associations between past experiences and current ones. If a behaviour is rewarded or reinforced, we are likely to repeat it, and if we are punished for the same behaviour, we will avoid it in the future. This means that the key to breaking out of this pattern of learned helplessness is to unlearn the associations that made us believe that our efforts are futile and we should just accept whatever negative factors are decreasing our quality of life.

  2266 Posted by Cynthia Madison
• By Cynthia Madison

  Overcoming Learned Helplessness

  Have you ever gone through periods where you got the sense that nothing you do has much impact on what's going on in your life? Did you feel ready to give up? When bad things happen to us, we all would like to believe that we'd do anything in our power to change things for the better, but it's not easy to stay strong when you're relentlessly subjected to challenging circumstances. We try to hold on, but at some point, we get tired of struggling. If all of this sounds familiar, you may have experienced what psychologists call "learned helplessness", a concept that's been observed in both humans as well as other animals and which we will explore in this article. We will discuss what learned helplessness is, its causes and what you can do to overcome it.  What Is Learned Helplessness? The concept of "learned helplessness" emerged in 1967 after a series of experiments on animals carried out by psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven F. Maier. They conditioned dogs by administering a mild shock whenever they heard a bell ring. Right now, you're probably thinking of ethical concerns regarding the use of animals in this type of research, but you need to keep in mind that these were different times.  After the dogs were conditioned, they were put in a large crate divided in two by a low fence. One side of the crate was wired to give mild shocks while the other side wasn't. To escape the shocks, the dogs would only have to hop the low fence and get to the safe side, but they didn't. They stayed put and simply took the chocks. The psychologists attributed this behaviour to the dogs having been conditioned that there was nothing they could do to stop the shocks because when they did the test on dogs that had not been conditioned, they easily jumped over the fence.  Since then, the concept of learned helplessness has been demonstrated on different animal species, including humans.  Learned Helplessness in Children and Adults When it comes to people, learned helplessness often stems from childhood experiences. For example, children raised in institutionalized settings or by unreliable and unresponsive caregivers often exhibit symptoms of this behavioural pattern.  In this sort of environment, children go through repeated experiences that reinforce feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. They may grow up with the belief that there is nothing they can do to change their problems, and they have to accept them as if these problems were their fate.  Common signed of learned helplessness in children include: Passivity Low self-esteem Poor motivation Frustration Procrastination Lack of effort Giving up Not asking for help Learned helplessness in children is also strongly linked to academic struggles. If a child makes efforts to do well in school and get good grades, but despite his or her efforts, they still do poorly, they might reach the conclusion that their performance is out of their control which will affect their self-worth.  They'll start to believe that they simply don't have what it takes to succeed, lose motivation, stop trying, and their grades will suffer even more. This learned helplessness regarding academic performance can, in turn, negatively impact their career prospects and affect their confidence and sense of self-worth as adults. In adults, we see signs of learned helplessness when a person doesn't learn or use adaptive responses when faced with difficult situations. They fail to resolve an issue despite there being a potential solution because they believe that bad things will happen no matter what they do, and since they have such little control, they should just accept it.  To give an example of learned helplessness in adults, victims of domestic abuse often hesitate to leave their abuser even if help and support are available because they develop a belief that they cannot escape this type of situation.  However, not everyone that goes through this type of experiences develops patterns of learned helplessness, and it appears that an individual's explanatory style plays a key role. The explanatory style, as the name suggests, is the way someone explains events to themselves. Individuals with a pessimistic explanatory style are more likely to experience learned helplessness because it causes them to view negative events as an unavoidable result of their shortcomings.  Learned Helplessness and Mental Health Learned helplessness may lead to higher levels of anxiety and can influence the persistence and severity of mental health conditions such as generalized anxiety disorder or depression. Moreover, learned helplessness might cause people experiencing anxiety and depression to see their symptoms as unavoidable and untreatable, so they refuse treatment. They enter a vicious circle where their feelings of helplessness and hopelessness intensify symptoms of anxiety or depression which in turn intensify their feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, convincing them that there's nothing they can do to improve their quality of life.  In reality, people can overcome learned helplessness and the most common and effective form of treatment is therapy, in particular, CBT or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.  Throughout their therapy sessions, a person with patterns of learned helplessness can: Explore the origins of their learned helplessness Identify the thought patterns that contribute to their learned helplessness Identify behavioural patterns that reinforce learned helplessness Replace these thoughts and behaviours with more beneficial ones Learn techniques that can decrease the distress caused by feelings of helplessness and hopelessness Learn to work through difficult emotions Talk about abuse, neglect or trauma they may have experienced Receive support and encouragement Learn how to set goals for themselves and how to follow through Ultimately, learned helplessness is a conditioned response – a response learned via associations between past experiences and current ones. If a behaviour is rewarded or reinforced, we are likely to repeat it, and if we are punished for the same behaviour, we will avoid it in the future. This means that the key to breaking out of this pattern of learned helplessness is to unlearn the associations that made us believe that our efforts are futile and we should just accept whatever negative factors are decreasing our quality of life.

  Sep 16, 2020 2266
• 18 Aug 2020
  Don't Feel Like It? Top 3 Workout Motivation Tips

  It's easy to start making plans to exercise. Either it's your New Year's resolution for the fifth year in a row, or maybe you watched a motivational video and told yourself you're going to start going to the gym. Several weeks later you either never started, or you're on an indefinite break. You're not alone. We've all been there. Motivation is very finicky and usually deserts us when we need it the most. Part of the problem is the way we view motivation. We keep thinking it will just come to us. One day we wake up, and suddenly we'll feel like it. From that moment everything will change. Reality, as you probably already know, doesn't work that way. In fact, more often than not, if we feel even a tiny bit of enthusiasm, what immediately pops into our minds is some excuse why we should postpone it. When it comes to exercising, the truth is that, at least in the beginning, you're never going to feel like it. Motivation will be something you need to create for yourself. Breaking Down Barriers The first step to creating motivation is to break down your mental barriers. What's stopping you from exercising? We're all too familiar with our excuses: we're too tired right now, it's such a busy time at work, it's raining today and tomorrow it will be sunny, it's better to start on a sunny day, it's sunny today, but it's too hot, etc.  But what are the real reasons you don't exercise? Let's look at some of the common ones. It's Unfamiliar If you're not used to exercising regularly, it can be quite intimidating. Unfortunately, any workout routine is hardest in the beginning when you're out of shape. Perhaps you've started and quit several times because you felt exhausted. Then, whenever you're going through a stressful period, you ask yourself: How am I going to fit this into my already busy schedule? And the answer is you don't. What's the solution? Start with manageable goals until you form a habit. Once you find a routine that you can manage both in terms of time and energy, you won't be as tempted to quit. As your fitness level increases, you will find it easier to increase the intensity of your workout without losing motivation. Life Is Sedentary Our modern lives don't give us many opportunities to exercise. You can't get a lot of things done without much physical activity. You work in an office, so you sit all day. You're not moving that much, but it's intellectually demanding and leaves you feeling drained. Then you drive home. You're too tired to cook, so you order takeout. Actually, you can even order your groceries. If you were raised in an active family and you're used to an active lifestyle, you won't have as much difficulty sticking to your fitness goals. But if you don't have that foundation, you have to start from scratch. We View Exercise as a Luxury   Although we know that getting enough exercise is essential to maintaining our health, we still view it as a luxury. As an adult with more responsibilities than you could ever dream of and endless to-do lists, you almost feel guilty when you take the time to go jogging or to a Zumba class. It feels selfish. So you tell yourself you get enough exercise running after the kids and cleaning the house. Then you start thinking about shortcuts. Pills, diets, gadgets, plastic surgery – anything that promises to deliver the same results but without actually exercising. We have to start thinking about regular exercise as a necessity rather than a hobby. The same way you need to brush your teeth, you need to exercise. Give it Meaning Once you've broken down your barriers, you'll want to set some goals. Most people have some sort of goal in mind when they decide to start exercising. Maybe it's losing weight, building muscle mass or simply staying healthy. It's good to have future goals, but if you want to stay motivated, you need more than that. You need to give it meaning. What does losing weight, building muscle mass or staying healthy mean to you? What value does it have? Since it may take many months to achieve these goals, you need to find something that can keep you going every step of the way. You'll also want to focus on the more immediate benefits of exercising like how it reduces stress, gives you more energy, helps you focus and sleep better. Then you'll want to write down daily and weekly goals. For example, you can start by walking 20 minutes per day for a week, and the next week you'll increase it to 25. You need to always know what you're working for – small goals, big goals and why it means so much to you. Our last tip is to experiment and find what works for you. Most people just try to imitate the mainstream idea of exercise. If that doesn't suit you, it doesn't mean you have to give up altogether. Let's say you don't like going to the gym. You don't have any good gyms close by, and you don't have the time to commute. Moreover, having to exercise in front of other people makes you uncomfortable. Then don't go to the gym. That's not the only option. The same technology that keeps us sedentary can help us find new ways to become more active. You can try virtual fitness classes, maybe play fitness video games, find video tutorials you like. If you get bored while exercising, you could get a treadmill or stationary bike and watch your favourite TV show while exercising. This works even better if you allow yourself to watch the show only when you exercise. You want something more social but still not the gym? How about taking dancing classes? Forget the rules. You need to start with something you like. Something that doesn't feel like a chore. As we said before, gradually your fitness level will increase, you'll have more energy, and you can build more intense workout routines.  

  2885 Posted by Cynthia Madison
• By Cynthia Madison

  Don't Feel Like It? Top 3 Workout Motivation Tips

  It's easy to start making plans to exercise. Either it's your New Year's resolution for the fifth year in a row, or maybe you watched a motivational video and told yourself you're going to start going to the gym. Several weeks later you either never started, or you're on an indefinite break. You're not alone. We've all been there. Motivation is very finicky and usually deserts us when we need it the most. Part of the problem is the way we view motivation. We keep thinking it will just come to us. One day we wake up, and suddenly we'll feel like it. From that moment everything will change. Reality, as you probably already know, doesn't work that way. In fact, more often than not, if we feel even a tiny bit of enthusiasm, what immediately pops into our minds is some excuse why we should postpone it. When it comes to exercising, the truth is that, at least in the beginning, you're never going to feel like it. Motivation will be something you need to create for yourself. Breaking Down Barriers The first step to creating motivation is to break down your mental barriers. What's stopping you from exercising? We're all too familiar with our excuses: we're too tired right now, it's such a busy time at work, it's raining today and tomorrow it will be sunny, it's better to start on a sunny day, it's sunny today, but it's too hot, etc.  But what are the real reasons you don't exercise? Let's look at some of the common ones. It's Unfamiliar If you're not used to exercising regularly, it can be quite intimidating. Unfortunately, any workout routine is hardest in the beginning when you're out of shape. Perhaps you've started and quit several times because you felt exhausted. Then, whenever you're going through a stressful period, you ask yourself: How am I going to fit this into my already busy schedule? And the answer is you don't. What's the solution? Start with manageable goals until you form a habit. Once you find a routine that you can manage both in terms of time and energy, you won't be as tempted to quit. As your fitness level increases, you will find it easier to increase the intensity of your workout without losing motivation. Life Is Sedentary Our modern lives don't give us many opportunities to exercise. You can't get a lot of things done without much physical activity. You work in an office, so you sit all day. You're not moving that much, but it's intellectually demanding and leaves you feeling drained. Then you drive home. You're too tired to cook, so you order takeout. Actually, you can even order your groceries. If you were raised in an active family and you're used to an active lifestyle, you won't have as much difficulty sticking to your fitness goals. But if you don't have that foundation, you have to start from scratch. We View Exercise as a Luxury   Although we know that getting enough exercise is essential to maintaining our health, we still view it as a luxury. As an adult with more responsibilities than you could ever dream of and endless to-do lists, you almost feel guilty when you take the time to go jogging or to a Zumba class. It feels selfish. So you tell yourself you get enough exercise running after the kids and cleaning the house. Then you start thinking about shortcuts. Pills, diets, gadgets, plastic surgery – anything that promises to deliver the same results but without actually exercising. We have to start thinking about regular exercise as a necessity rather than a hobby. The same way you need to brush your teeth, you need to exercise. Give it Meaning Once you've broken down your barriers, you'll want to set some goals. Most people have some sort of goal in mind when they decide to start exercising. Maybe it's losing weight, building muscle mass or simply staying healthy. It's good to have future goals, but if you want to stay motivated, you need more than that. You need to give it meaning. What does losing weight, building muscle mass or staying healthy mean to you? What value does it have? Since it may take many months to achieve these goals, you need to find something that can keep you going every step of the way. You'll also want to focus on the more immediate benefits of exercising like how it reduces stress, gives you more energy, helps you focus and sleep better. Then you'll want to write down daily and weekly goals. For example, you can start by walking 20 minutes per day for a week, and the next week you'll increase it to 25. You need to always know what you're working for – small goals, big goals and why it means so much to you. Our last tip is to experiment and find what works for you. Most people just try to imitate the mainstream idea of exercise. If that doesn't suit you, it doesn't mean you have to give up altogether. Let's say you don't like going to the gym. You don't have any good gyms close by, and you don't have the time to commute. Moreover, having to exercise in front of other people makes you uncomfortable. Then don't go to the gym. That's not the only option. The same technology that keeps us sedentary can help us find new ways to become more active. You can try virtual fitness classes, maybe play fitness video games, find video tutorials you like. If you get bored while exercising, you could get a treadmill or stationary bike and watch your favourite TV show while exercising. This works even better if you allow yourself to watch the show only when you exercise. You want something more social but still not the gym? How about taking dancing classes? Forget the rules. You need to start with something you like. Something that doesn't feel like a chore. As we said before, gradually your fitness level will increase, you'll have more energy, and you can build more intense workout routines.  

  Aug 18, 2020 2885