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Entertainment 131 views May 24, 2018
How To Stop Obsessing Over Hot Women (Take Her Off The Pedestal

Have you ever been obsessed with a girl you just met and it completely screwed up the interaction?

Look, women are not attracted to guys that put them on pedestals. 

And if you’re stuck on a woman with an unhealthy obsession, it’s probably screwing with your life.

How To Stop Obsessing Over Hot Women

 

Don’t Put Girls On Pedestals

You’ve probably heard of “putting a woman on a pedestal”, the tendency for some of us to view a woman’s positive qualities and ignore her negative ones. Optimistically looking at people and seeing the best is a GOOD thing. The problem comes when we PROJECT qualities onto a woman that she doesn’t actually have, or when we project that the side we like is her ALL the time as if she’s not a normal human with moods swings, problems, and a lot of stuff going on.

The problem with this mode of thinking is that WHO SHE ACTUALLY IS doesn’t match your PROJECTED FANTASY about who she is. This is always a recipe for disappointment.

Guys with this issue fall into one of two camps, either they don’t operate from an ABUNDANCE mentality (they can’t find a bunch of options to meet their own needs), or they have very little experience, leaving very few references in their minds to navigate real relationships with real people.

Before I understood these concepts, I used to think like this all the time. One girl, in particular, caught me for a loop at the bar in my hometown. We started vibing, shared some laughs, and eventually made out on the dancefloor. What a great night! After that, however, I started PROJECTING onto her all of the stuff I wanted in a girlfriend, some of which she didn’t actually have. Inadvertently, I stopped viewing her as a human, and just viewed her through the lens as my ideal partner, who could meet all of my needs and nullify all of my insecurities. Ignoring who she actually was, I began to get disappointed over and over again because she wasn’t meeting my expectations. Instead of ACTUALLY ENGAGING with her and basking in the amazingness of who she actually was, I just kept trying to get her to act like I THOUGHT she SHOULD be acting. That blew up in my face, and she stopped talking to me altogether.

Do you have a similar situation? Let’s see how can we stop projecting in our obsessions and see her for who she really is?

TIP 1
Knock her off her pedestal by flipping the script 

You are the prize. If you put her on a pedestal in your mind, you might be giving off needy or weak vibes, waiting around for her to give you the right signs, give you permission to make a move, or approve of you. STOP THAT. You are the prize to be won. When you realize your own value to her, you’ll expect her to work for you. This has a double benefit of both showing your value, and stopping weak behaviors that turn her off.

TIP 2
Focus on you

Every hero has a quest, and every man has a mission. When you prove to yourself that you have ambition and success in other areas, you can validate yourself, instead of waiting for her to do it for you.

  • Find your mission
  • Pour Everything into it
  • Challenge yourself to crush it. Step up like a man and make things happen, rather than just waiting around to get lucky.

TIP 3
Manage your own emotions

When you envision a woman who can complete you, you tend to see yourself as “not good enough”, or “broken”. You don’t need anyone to complete you, you’re awesome. Prove it to yourself, and she’ll notice it too, in the way you carry yourself.

  • Own your space in the world
  • Take responsibility for your own emotions
  • Take responsibility for how you make others feel, too. When you believe you’re a powerful influence on the people around you, you ARE!

TIP 4
Qualify her to fit into YOUR life
.

When you get caught up with infatuation in the early stages of meeting someone new, step up and get to know her. Make a list of standards that she must meet, and then ask her about each one, evaluating how she fits in.

This will do two things;

1) It will free you from projecting ethereal or unrealistic expectations on women, and

2) It will bring attention to LOOKING FOR these qualities, so that you may see them in other people as well. This will broaden your pool of dateable women and you’ll be taking a massive step toward an abundance mentality.

The core idea behind getting over your obsession with new girls is REPLACING YOUR EXPECTATIONS WITH REALITY, rather than your own myopic fantasy.

Final Thoughts

Armed with both a clear understanding of your own standards and an idea of how a woman you’re attracted to is operating, you’ll be able to see these qualities in everyone. Rather than PROJECTING a fantasy, EVALUATE the reality of every new woman you meet. Take action to ACTUALLY engage with a woman and you’ll free yourself from stalling in fantasy land obsessing over any one girl.

Now if you’re asking yourself, “Sure I’ll remember to do all that, but what do I say to a girl?” We got you covered:

We created this Free Conversation Cheat Sheet where I break down exactly what to say after “Hi” to make her want you.

You get:

  • My top conversation starters for any situation…
  • Simple techniques to never run out of things to say…
  • A list of my favorite games to play that create a fun-flirty vibe
  • And simple ways to escalate the interaction.
  • And more!

http://www.theattractiveman.com/

 



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  • 06 Oct 2018
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  • 15 Feb 2018
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Destroy your approach anxiety and spark instant attraction with your body language as you get women to CHASE YOU! Get Tons of infield practice, real-life drills, role-playing, and instant feedback on your interactions to make approaching women completely second nature! http://www.theattractiveman.com/
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  • 04 May 2018
    Do you know exactly what to do when a hot girl looks at you? Lots of guys blow it. That FIRST GLANCE is crucial for setting the tone. You HAVE to know HOW to react to this situation! ​​Your only chance to seal the deal could SLIP AWAY in a heartbeat.  So what should you do when a girl looks at you? Before we go over what to do, I noticed a lot of pickup artists’ usually recommend you act all aloof and mysterious, like skulking at an area trying to act as if you’re waiting for women to come to you instead. That doesn’t work very well. If anything, women will find you creepy, and probably stay away from you for good. Seriously, don’t give off a serial killer vibe.   If she looks at you and you are taking your time it can ruin the mood and can make it seem like you are scared to talk to her. And don’t do the infamous “This drink’s from that guy across the table” – If you’re going to buy her a drink then take it to her yourself! Now, most of the time when a girl looks at you, that means she’s interested in you, so that’s a great start. All you have to do now is capitalize on the situation.     First: Make Sure to Look Back! Women love a man of action. Alpha males are what attracts women the most! So take charge and control. Women usually don’t make the first move, MEN do. She’s looking at you to make sure you get the message. When you’ve caught her looking at you, look back without hesitation. If she looks away before you get the chance, keep looking back for a few seconds to catch her attention. It’s important that she knows you noticed her. Looking back can already create sexual tension, and that’s even before any word come out of your mouth! Maintain dominance when looking back. Don’t act all meek and stare at the floor – If she stares back, keep looking at her as if you’re enjoying each other, even before you get near. Second: Smile Now that you’ve caught her attention, make sure you smile at her! That’s one of the things that attracts a woman the most. You should check our other article out – it has all you need to know to learn how to attract girls! According to research, smiling activates the pleasure sensors in our body almost the same as eating chocolate. Simply looking at someone’s smile literally brightens up your day! A chin up, confident smile is the way to go. It actually gives women comfort and shows that you’re going to be a fun guy to be with. When you’re looking back at her, the moment she notices, give her the best smile you have – one that says “hey, let’s have some fun” You can also look away and smile for a moment, then look back at her. This draws a certain allure and mystery while at the same time acknowledging that you’re going to approach her and would love to know her better.  Here are also some things you should not do: Avoid a creepy nodding smile or cheesy smirk. And please don’t frown thinking it’s cool to feel entitled. Women hate that. Don’t try too much to force a smile either, just relax, make sure it comes naturally as if you appreciate her looking at you and you’re enjoying every moment. A good way to know your perfect smile is to practice in front of the mirror every day – go ahead, it actually helps!   Third: Establish Powerful Eye Contact Confidence dictates control. When you look at a woman, always try to maintain eye contact even before the conversation starts! Check her reaction, the moment you’ve looked back and she notices, lock eyes immediately. Keep at it if she’s doing the same, it’s actually a very enjoyable stare-down especially after you’ve thrown the perfect smile at her. If she looks away quickly, that means one of three things – she got creeped out, OR she’s the shy type, OR she’s playing hard to get. Yes, women do these all the time. Whatever the reason, you shouldn’t give up. If you think she’s the shy type, then give her enough time to adjust, turn it down a notch, but don’t wait too long to approach or you’ll lose your chance! If you think she’s playing hard to get, then, by all means, keep the confidence up and take control. Remember to focus on her eyes, it can be a turn-off and unclassy to stare at her body rather than her face. And Finally: Approach Her Taking the previous tips into consideration, approaching her is the best part. Remember guys, a woman looking at you is an invitation. Women don’t make the move, MEN do. Instinctively, women go for the aggressive and assertive man, because that’s exactly what they look for in males – security, and if you’re sloppy and slow, that looks like a weakness and a turn-off. When women throw out the signal, men who make the move are instantly more attractive. Remember that Body movements are important, walking tall, with a straight back and your head up. No slouching or looking at the ground.
    126 Posted by The Attractive Man
  • 12 Apr 2018
    Here’s another tip to mster how to talk to women! Now, I’m dancing with this beautiful girl, and things start to get heated… So I invite her to grab a bite to eat with me and she says: “I can’t leave my friends” Has something like this ever happened to you? What went wrong? Usually, when it seems like a girl is totally into you, yet doesn’t commit to that next step, it’s because you didn’t successfully handle her objections. We’ll cover this problem today and you’ll soon discover how to talk to women when they usually say no. Because of the double standard in our society, most girls will say no to your advances so that they don’t look or feel like a “slut.” They may want to go with you but often, girls feel they can’t make it too easy for you because of that double standard. If you think back to when you wanted to bring a girl home, 9 times out of 10 you heard some objection. “I can’t leave because of my friends,” “I work early,” “I don’t want to stay out late,” “how far is your place,” and the list goes on. The mistake most guys make is they take these objections at face value when in reality, that’s when the game begins. Very rarely will you get that perfect pull where the girl follows you straight to your place! Let me ask you a question. If you know that 9 times out of 10, the girl will give you objections, have you prepared an answer beforehand? If no, then that might be why you’re not getting as many phone numbers, dates and beautiful women in your bed as you really could. How To Talk To Women: How to turn “No” into a “Yes” The best place to start is by first understanding the mindset of a girl you’re trying to pull. And by pull, I mean leading her to the next location. That could be a nearby coffee shop, bar or your place. Here are the typical concerns girls have when going somewhere new with a guy they just met: They don’t want to travel very far They don’t want to feel unsafe They don’t want to feel uncomfortable They don’t want to be in a situation where things are awkward 1 on 1 They want to make sure that they are going to have fun They don’t want to get stuck at your house Whatever objection a girl gives you, usually the root lies in one of these concerns. It’s like when a friend asks you to go somewhere, so you make up a “white lie” to avoid the awkwardness of telling the real reason you don’t want to go. Rather than a girl saying, “hey I just met you and don’t feel comfortable being alone with you yet,” she’ll say, “oh I can’t leave my friends.“ To successfully overcome her objections, you have to answer her root objection, not her surface level objection. Over time, I figured out how to talk to women because I learned that an objection will almost always come. I make sure to come prepared. I already memorized a few answers to the most common complaints. Importantly, I also treat objections as “not yet,” opposed to a flat-out “no.” If you didn’t get a firm no, then assume she just means “not yet.” There have been plenty of times where a girl declines to grab a coffee, but knowing how to talk to her, building more comfort and attraction, she says yes after a couple of minutes. For example, when she says, “I can’t leave my friends”, it’s not that she physically can’t leave her friends. It’s more likely that she’s not quite comfortable enough to leave with YOU just yet. So you need to know how to talk to women in a way that builds more comfort and/or assures them that you’re coming right back and not one of those guys that’s trying to steal them away the entire night. This actually happened to me not too long ago, where I took her objection as “not yet”, continued to build attraction and comfort and then when I asked 5 minutes later, she came with me to a quieter part of the bar for us to get to know each other. The funny part is, we never saw her friends again for the rest of the night. It wasn’t that she couldn’t leave her friends. The truth is, she wasn’t yet comfortable enough with me to leave her friends. Most guys eject out of the interaction over a “not yet,” type response. You may have missed out on so many girls because of that. If so, that’s ok. Because all that is about to change. Because girls always feel the need to give an objection (even if she wants to join you), it’s your job to answer her objections. One technique I like to use is pre-answering objections. For example, remember that list of common concerns above? What I like to do is answer those objections before she even has a chance to mention it. Let’s take the, “don’t want to travel far” and “uncomfortable one-on-one” root objections. When I’m bringing a girl to a coffee shop, a place to eat, or my place, I always say something like, “Let’s go grab a coffee. I know a great spot a few blocks away. We’ll grab a quick coffee, and then you can go back on your merry way.” When I say, “let’s go grab a coffee,” immediately she’s wondering to herself, “how far away is it and how long?” That’s why the secret of how to talk to women in a way that delivers results is to answer their objections before they even have a chance to object. The best strategy is to answer objections before she has them. The next best option is to be prepared for common objections. Here’s a list of common objections and how to handle them: Her: “I can’t leave my friends.” You: “I can’t leave my friends either. A bunch of my friends are here, so I have to come back.” This is good for the first half of the night when her concern is being gone long, not coming back to see her friends and being stuck 1 on 1 with a guy she just met.  Her: “I can’t leave my friends.” You: “My friends are here too. We can text our friends my address, and they can meet us there.” This is good for the second half of the night to assure her it won’t be just 1 on 1. Her: “I have to be up early” You: “What time do you have to be up?….Well, I have to be up at (1 hour earlier) so that’s no excuse (playfully). Just come for a half hour and I’ll kick you out (playfully)” Her concern here is not being up late so you let her know, hey I’m in the same situation, let’s just hang out for a little. Her: “What if you kidnap me” (or any variation) You: “Damn! You have me all figured out already” (playfully) This is a girl’s polite way to make sure she’s safe and comfortable with you. Her: “How will I get home?” You: “I can either send you home in an Uber or you can sleep on the couch and I’ll drive you home in the morning because I’ve been drinking” This reassures her that she will get home safely (in case she has to leave her ride). The couch part takes off the pressure of any expectations. The drinking part pre answers the objection of why you can’t drive her now Her: “But we just got here” You: “We just got here too. And we’re mostly sober. Let’s go drink real quick and come back” This is for the first half of the night.   Her: “I already have plans to do XYZ after” You: “Drinking wine with me (or another activity) will be a lot more fun. Come with me instead then you can go do XYZ.” Remember one of her concerns a girl has is are we going to do something fun or something that she likes. The activity doesn’t have to be anything fancy. I date classy girls so all of them like wine   Her: Any time-related objection You: “Don’t worry, we’ll only be a couple minutes.” Or, “we’ll be quick.” Or, “It’s just two minutes.” For any time-related objection just let her know it won’t be for long. So if it’s coffee, just say there’s a cafe one minute away and we’ll be quick.  Alright, as we discussed, objections aren’t bad! They should be expected. I’ve been studying some Jordan Belfort recently (Wolf of Wall Street) and he emphasizes that a sale doesn’t begin until the first objection. Anyone can pitch the sale. The skill comes in your ability to overcome a person’s objections. Also, remember that objections are really smoke screens for their real concerns. Usually, the root of a girl’s objection will be one of the real concerns I listed above. Next time you get an objection, try to understand what her real objection is and get to answer that. If you answer her superficial objection but not the real one, she’ll just keep bringing up one objection after another.    Your Weekend Mission (If you choose to accept) Beginners: Reflect on your last 3 approaches. What objections did you hear? Write down 2 good possible responses. Do at least 5 approaches with the goal of getting an instant date. As soon as you can, write down the objection, what you think the root objection might be, and 2 answers you can use next time Bonus if you can figure out how to include pre-answering her objections for next time Advanced: Reflect on your last 5 approaches. What objections did you hear? Write down 2 good possible responses. Do at least 10 approaches with the goal of getting an instant date. Try to push the interaction as far as you can, baby-stepping her closer and closer to your place. As soon as you can, write down the objection, what you think the root objection might be, and 2 answers you can use next time Bonus if you can figure out how to include pre-answering her objections for next time Alright, guys, there’s the tip of the week! Be sure to go out there and start implementing it RIGHT AWAY. Success loves the speed of implementation. If you like tips like these, then I would highly recommend you check out The Language of Attraction or attend a BOOTCAMP. Don’t know what The Language of Attraction is? This is all about the conversation. You’ll know how to attract beautiful women anyplace, anytime, and in any situation. This is the only program that uses your own unique personality to attract women. Other “gurus” will try to mold you to be exactly like them…. They’ll have you dress like them and act like them even if that’s not who you really are. We’ll show you what naturally attracts women. Interested in a BOOTCAMP? We’re going to be in Las Vegas, Cancun, New York City, Los Angeles, Miami, Brazil, Argentina, Colombia, Spain, Germany, Sweden, Bulgaria, Cyprus, Thailand, Dubai, India, Australia and that’s us just getting started. If you’re serious about getting results with women FAST, then this is your ticket. Here are a few things we’ll cover: Discover a POWERFUL way to approach, attract, number close, and get dates during the day! Destroy your approach anxiety and spark instant attraction with your body language as you get women to CHASE YOU! Get Tons of infield practice, real-life drills, role-playing, and instant feedback on your interactions to make approaching women completely second nature!  
    117 Posted by The Attractive Man
  • 15 Sep 2018
    Here are my 5 secrets to make her fall in love with you! Whether you just met, it’s your first date or you’ve been dating a while, girls want a story. They fantasize about a fairytale romance. Do what I tell you in this video and you will be able to create feelings of intense connection and love very quickly. Some guys tend to believe that they there’s an elaborate formula to make a girl fall in love with you. Or that it’s all about money, fame, or looks for them. They couldn’t be more wrong: #5 : Create a Story Girls want a good story of how you guys met. Think about it, Women are conditioned by romance moves, and even by Disney movies as a kid, and the prince and princess never meet on tinder or at a club. Women fantasize about a movie moment where they meet their prince charming in a romantic way, like a bookstore or salsa class or any random unexpected way during the day where the man needs balls to approach her. Like for me, I get approached way more at night, but it rarely happens during the day and I wish a charming guy would just come to say hi.  And the same is true for a date create lots of moments for her throughout the date, for example, if you take her to the movies and make her miss a good scene because you are trying to kiss her, it’s not going to be as special or memorable as going for the kiss on the beach under the stars or while dancing to a romantic song in the park. Chivalry isn’t dead! #4 : Bring her fairy tale to life Pay close attention to what she says to ultimately figure out her goals and dreams in life. Then create alignment with her future and your future. For example: after a couple of dates and she tells you she wants kids, you can ask her “do you think I’d be a good dad?” Therefore, you are getting her to start thinking about you as a fatherly-like figure. But make sure to always be real and authentic.  Another example could be if she wants to be an entrepreneur, you could talk about, how fun would it be to work on your businesses together on the beach.  But make sure to be real and authentic, just don’t make stuff up. You don’t want to waste both your time if you are not compatible. #3 : Create an adventure The point here is to create great memories together because the more great memories you create the more invested and connected she will feel. So, instead of just going to dinner and the movies, like every other guy, plan something more memorable and original like fun activities together, for example, Rollerblading, ice skating, dancing, or hiking, remember that motion creates emotion. No girl wants to be bored on a date. #2 : Create Emotion People are used to having conversations about the same topics over and over again about work, the weather, family and where they are from. It is fine to talk about these things but if that is the bulk of your conversation, she’ll just go into her autopilot response and won’t FEEL anything, and it’s emotions that create powerful memories. For example: do you remember where you were when 9/11 happened, or when donald trump got elected? Probably bc You were either really excited Donald Trump was elected or really pissed. Either way, you were emotionally charged. But do you remember what you had for dinner last tuesday? Probably not because it wasn’t emotional, unless it was your birthday or you did something unique. That’s because memories form through emotion. If she doesn’t feel anything then she won’t even remember you, let alone fall in love with you. The worst thing you could do is be boring. In fact, it’s better to create any emotion than no emotion. A man is usually too scared to offend or upset the woman, so he plays it safe. Ask memorable questions like: “What would you tell your younger self?” “What are your main goals in life?” “What’s one thing no one knows about you?” The first date I had with a guy was so memorable and I ended up dating him for 2 years after that. So keep her stimulated, most importantly her mind stimulated with emotion & excitement.  It’s exciting and romantic memories that create the feeling of love. #1 : Show Affection the way she wants it You see, there are 5 major ways to show affection, also known as the 5 love languages. Touch – massage, head scratch Quality Time – attention is all on her Words of Affirmation – telling her what you like, care about, Acts of Service – doing something for her Gift Giving – thoughtful presents (not necessarily expensive) that surprise and give value You see, not every woman wants affection the same way. All of these forms of appreciation are important, but some are stronger than others for different people.   For example, they are all important to me, but one of my strongest love languages is physical touch. The key is to find out which are most important to her, because you might think you are giving her all this value by communicating to her in your own love language, when really you might be smothering her. One way to find out her love languages is to pay attention to how she reacts by reading her body language. If you touch her and she recoils or if you compliment her and she shuts it down then those might not be her love languages. You can even ask her, “would you rather a back massage or a receive gift?”. Or can even ask the girl if she knows what her love languages are, and if not you can explain it to her.  Once you know her strongest forms of receiving affection, then simply start showing affection the way she wants. But make sure not to overdo it too soon. Women should earn your affection. Final Thoughts Remember, if you can create a story for her, get imagining a future with you, make fun memories, spark romantic feelings, and show affection the way she wants, feelings of love will be right around the corner. So, to help you out, Matt created a free conversation cheat sheet. where he breaks down exactly what to say after “Hello” to make her want you. You get: Our top conversation starters for any situation… Simple techniques to never run out of things to say and create emotion… A list of games to play that create fun-flirty memories And simple ways to escalate the interaction. And morehttps://www.theattractiveman.com/
    116 Posted by The Attractive Man
  • 23 Mar 2018
    Want to meet hotter girls? If you’re looking to discover how to meet women, then the “CQC System” will teach you how to meet women wherever you go! Discover the best places to meet new girls, too. So you can gain access to the most beautiful women in your city today. Where and how to meet girls… How to meet single women… you’ve come to the right place. And I’m glad you’re here because learning these skills opens so many doors for you. When you know where to find the girls you desire and what to say to them to make them yours, you reclaim the power to build the dating life of your dreams.No longer will your dating and social life be left to the mercy of chance, and you’ll never need to be stuck at home on a Friday night feeling like you’re the only one missing out on the fun. Instead, you’ll be the center of it all – watching your relationships flourish as your life fills with more fun and adventure than ever before. In this article, we’ll start by covering a simple way to approach and meet girls, known as the CQC System. After that, you’ll learn the best places to meet the girls you’re looking for, as well as, how to tailor your approach in those settings. How to Meet Women Using the C.Q.C. System he CQC system is a way to quickly gain attraction and investment from any beautiful girl you approach. CQC stands for compliment, qualify, close, and I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve dated or had one night stands with as a result of using these 3 simple steps in my game.Here’s how it works: Compliment – When first approaching a girl, give her a compliment on something about her style, appearance, or vibe. This lets her know immediately what your intentions are, which makes getting the number easier. For example, you might say, “Hey, this is super random… But I wanted to come let you know… You’re absolutely adorable!”Instead of complimenting her directly, you could also imply the compliment, like so:“Listen, I saw you here and I had to come over and meet you. Hi, I’m [Your Name]”. Qualify – Now that you’ve given her a bit of your interest, it’s time to take a step back and make her prove to you that she’s worthy of your continued attention.You can do this by qualifying her. This will get her to start chasing you, which increases your value in her eyes and serves to build attraction.Some example qualifiers include, “tell me something interesting about yourself,” or “what’s something you’re passionate about?” Once she answers, you can reward her by letting her know you appreciate her answer, or by relating to the topic with your own experiences.Then, you can rinse and repeat the qualification process in order to continue finding out more about her. A strong mental frame to come from with qualifying is, “You seem like you could be cool, but I’m not too sure about you yet.” When she detects this vibe from you, she’ll naturally want to start proving herself to you. Close – Once she’s investing in the interaction and qualifying herself to you, you can take the interaction to the next level by closing her on an instant date. This is when you go together from the place you met to a second location, such as a coffee or ice cream shop. A simple way to transition into an instant date is to say something like, “My favorite ice cream shop is right around the corner, I was about to grab a cone. Come with.” If she’s unable to go on an instant date for whatever reason, you can simply set up a date instead and get her phone number.The CQC system is enough to get you started meeting girls, get you dates, and even get you laid. That being said, it’s just the tip of the iceberg as far as attraction techniques go. For more high-level information on attracting women, check out our article “How to Talk to Girls & Spark Attraction” Where to Meet WomenI’ve armed you with the CQC system, which will allow you to consistently approach and attract women. But just as important is your venue selection. Let’s go over the four best places to meet women, as well as how you should tailor your game in each setting for best results. Places to meet women During The Daytime The daytime provides you with a low-pressure, low-competition environment in which you and the girls you approach can communicate clearly and effectively. The best way to meet women can be during the daytime! It’s ideal for practicing your pickup skills, especially your verbal game. When meeting girls during the day, it’s important to give plenty of physical space at first, since women walking around in the daytime aren’t expecting to be approached. If you catch her off guard and scare her, you could easily derail the interaction. Opening direct during day game works well because it cuts to the chase in a way that lets her know what you’re there for, and it makes closing faster and easier later on.Since the daytime, for the most part, is a non-threatening, non-sexual environment, day game offers the unique opportunity to easily take girls you meet on instant dates. Definitely, make it a goal to turn each good day game interaction into an instant date. Who knows? You might end up pulling her home.Ideal day game locations include: The Beach – Sunny beaches are loaded with beautiful women in bikinis getting their tan. The thing is that most guys are way too intimidated to approach a girl in a bikini – so by approaching her, you’ll stand out. Here’s a video of meeting girls at the beach.   The Park – I know of a girl that said, “I’d really love a guy to approach me while I am running.” This was a surprise to me. But yes, if she likes to run, she’d also like to meet a guy that likes to run. So you runners know what to do…However, at popular parks, you’ll find women doing all sorts of things. They’re all fair game. Shopping Malls – If you like a girl that dresses nice, then you can be sure she frequents malls. The best times are Saturday mornings.   The Gym – Hot women usually work out so find the gym where all the girls attend. Keep in mind at the gym they are not there to chit chat so keep it short and sweet. Crowded Coffee Shops – For some reason, hot women love Starbucks. It’s kind of a trend. Do you like to read or work on your laptop? Well, head over to a popular coffee shop, hang out for a couple hours, sit where all the people pass by, and wait until you see a lady you’d like to meet. If she’s busy reading or working, make sure to acknowledge what she’s doing, “Hey, I see you’re reading, but I wanted to come over real quick and say ‘hi.” Health Food Store – Do you buy groceries? Well, she probably does too, especially if she is health conscious. Try Whole Foods. The Dog Park – Have a dog? Then go here. Approaching her will be much easier because you immediately have something in common. Cooking Class – Yup, most cooking classes are filled with only women. The best case scenario is when women outnumber men because they’ll fight over you.Places To Meet Women At Night My second recommendation for improving your pickup skills while meeting some badass chicks is to do night game. Here’s how to meet girls at night!If day game is gaming on easy mode, the night game is medium to hard. But, the rewards can be well worth it; some of the hottest girls habitually go to nighttime venues to drink and have fun, and a lot of them are looking to get laid. Even better, the more high-pressure, loud, and the intense nature of night game environments will push you out of your comfort zone, developing your pickup skills and hardening you as a man. During night game, you’ll want to ramp up your energy. Speaking louder and being more animated with your gestures is a prerequisite for simply being understood in most night game environments, let alone holding the girl’s attention. Another important aspect of a night game is being able to efficiently handle logistics. This means identifying any obstacles to bringing the girl home – such as her being with her friends or being the designated driver – and set up a plan in advance for how you’ll handle those obstacles. You’ll also need to account for getting her out of the venue and to a second location such as an after-hours spot or your place, so you can keep the party going. Ideal night game locations include: Fashion Shows – This might seem obvious, however, you shouldn’t primarily hit on the runway models. You should focus your attention on the girls in the audience.There are lots of beautiful women that appreciate fashion and go to observe. Strike up a conversation after the show ends. Music Festivals or Concerts – If you love music, then this is your spot. Large music festivals have TONS of women and they are all looking to have fun. To win the girl over, focus on having fun. Happy Hour/Trivia Night – This one is for you guys that enjoy adult beverages. Happy hours in every city are crawling with young women. At happy hour, she’ll typically be in a group of girls so you can do the standard direct approach. How To Meet Women Using Social Media & Dating AppsSocial media and dating apps can be an effective way to meet girls, and having a solid profile shaves off a lot of effort in terms of both comfort and attraction building. Messaging girls on social media can be a lot lower pressure than meeting girls in person. This is a pro and a con, because, while it lowers the barrier to meeting hot girls, it also fails to develop the confidence that going out and facing rejection and success in person can bring. Because of this, I recommend using social media & dating apps as a supplementary way to meet girls and spend most of your time doing day game and night game until you’re experiencing consistent results. It shouldn’t be your main focus when trying to master how to meet beautiful women. Rather, use it as an effective tool. Another consideration when it comes to online dating is that, since girls can’t pick up your vibe over the internet, they’re more likely to judge you based on your looks alone. This is good news for classically good looking guys but puts everyone else at a disadvantage. If you’re not a traditionally good looking guy, you’d better have some awesome pictures – or just skip online dating and go meet girls in person. The best way to set yourself up for success meeting girls on social media and dating apps is to put effort into taking awesome pictures. Pictures showing you having fun in high-status social settings or doing cool activities go along way to building attraction. Pictures of family, pets, or of you volunteering will help her see you as a down to Earth, well-rounded guy. How To Meet Women Using Your Social CircleAs you go out more and continue meeting people, you’ll naturally begin making more friends. Some of these friends will just be cool guys and girls, while others will have awesome social networks that you can leverage to your advantage. Try setting up a weekly event – such as a sushi and sake night or a weekly table at a club – and inviting all the cool people you’ve been meeting. Have each person bring a friend and watch how fast your social circle grows. Why is your Social Circle a factor in how to meet new girls? Social circle game is awesome because it’s low pressure, can give you access to super hot girls and cool events over time, and it puts you in control of the situation. Another benefit of social circle game is that it often takes little or no “game” in order to pull and close.Some guys get stuffy once in a social circle because now they feel the stakes are higher if something awkward happens. But the reason we build social circles in the first place is to get the results with girls that we’re after! Just let loose, have fun, and lead the girls you’re with through a fun and exciting experience that winds up back at your front door. Now that you have the CQC System at your disposal, it’s time to put it into action! Check out some day game and night game venues in your area and start testing out the techniques. Remember: the sooner you put the material into action, the sooner you’ll start seeing results.For a more technically comprehensive guide on the attraction process, check out our article “How to Talk to Girls & Spark Attraction”
    116 Posted by The Attractive Man
  • 05 Jul 2018
    Approaching someone new, and flirting with them can be super nerve-wracking. We’ve ALL been there. When meeting a new girl, an important thing to remember is that she will feel nervous too! Meeting anyone new can be a little tense. If you can do something to release that nervous tension, then you’ve got a great chance. A girl wants to feel safe and at ease in your presence. That’s what attracts women. If you create awkward tension by coming across even a little creepy, she’s going to be on guard and you’re going to lose her interest.   MISTAKE 1: They don’t approach after making eye contact! The first mistake I’ve seen a lot of guys make is that they take FOREVER to approach after making eye contact. When I’m out with my girlfriends, you can guarantee there’s going to be at least one guy that night who makes eye contact with one of us across the room. And then continues to stare over at you for 10-15 mins until they gain the courage to approach. If you think you’re being fun and playing hard to get building that “Will they/ won’t they?” vibe across the bar, you’re wrong. The only thing you’ve succeeded in doing is giving off stalker vibes and making the girl feel really uncomfortable knowing you’re even there. You need to approach quickly after making eye contact. Maybe catch her eye once or twice or even three times and then approach. This will make you seem confident and secure and will help her feel more at ease.   MISTAKE 2: They get too close! The second mistake a lot of guys make is getting too close, too soon. My neighbor, a single guy, asked me a good question the other day… “What if you can’t make eye contact because it’s crowded or you just can’t seem to catch a girl’s glance? What do you do?” This is a great question because what you do here can definitely make or break your chances. If you can’t get her attention easily, it’s definitely okay to approach her still! You’ve just got to make sure you do it the right way. The best guideline to remember here is to respect her personal bubble. You don’t want her to feel threatened or nervous by you before you even get the chance to flirt! I have had guys approach me in a bar who tap my shoulder and when I turn around, they are literally five inches from my face! This will immediately put any girl on edge. If you need to tap someone on the shoulder to get their attention, that’s great, but do it with an arm’s length between you and approach from the side if you can!   MISTAKE 3: They don’t know what to say! Okay, so you’ve approached the girl… now what? This seems like basic advice but you need to approach with confidence and you NEED to have something to say to her! Practice this in a mirror, or with a friend, or anything you need to do. We also have an article about approaching a girl who doesn’t speak the same language as you! Keep the conversation light, use a silly pickup line, or make a joke, or you can even tease her a little… but make sure you have SOMETHING to say other than “Hey, I’m so and so.” Just this weekend, A guy, with whom I had made eye contact a couple times, came up to me and said  “Hey, I’m Bryan” and I smiled and said “Hey! I’m Nicole, nice to meet you.” and then he kind of dropped his head and was silent for like the longest 5 seconds and then goes… “uhhh so are you from around here?” Needless to say, this conversation went nowhere.  After you introduce yourself, you can, and should, make a flirty comment… maybe compliment something she’s wearing, or her eyes or smile… ANYthing about her! Then use your surroundings as topic cues! Are you at a new bar or an old favorite? Talk about that! If you’re in a coffee shop or store, make comments about your order or tell a story about something you see. By using your surroundings as cues, you can keep the conversation relevant and interactive for BOTH of you. Finding common ground can be a little awkward for anyone, so using cues around you is an easy way to get an idea of what a person likes and thinks.   MISTAKE 4: The Creepy Stare! Making TOO much eye contact. This can get a little tricky to find the right balance, but just as the guy who wouldn’t make eye contact with me was weird, making too much eye contact is equally, if not more, creepy. My good friend went on a date recently and the guy made a comment about how her eyes were really pretty… and then basically didn’t look away from them! Even when she looked away, and tried to distract his gaze, he would immediately return to looking her straight in the eye. This is obviously an extreme example but it’s important to find a good balance that you’re both comfortable with.   MISTAKE 5: Too touchy-feely!  Too much or unwelcome physical contact can also make a girl feel creeped out. This absolutely differs from girl to girl but you need to pay attention to her body language. Not only how much, but the way, you touch her really matters. You definitely want to establish a touching interaction fairly soon in the convo, but these first physical interactions need to be light and quick. A nice touch on the arm or shoulder, or maybe at the small of her back if you’re walking… these are all great! Keep it playful! Don’t wrap your arm around her or anything like that just yet. That can make her feel trapped or uneasy. If you’re having a chat and playfully touch her arm and she smiles and continues talking, then you’re probably good to do that again. She’ll most likely even reciprocate during the conversation. Also, if you touch her and she kinda pulls away or takes a step back, doing it again is probably going to make her feel uncomfortable. Just because she pulled away doesn’t mean she’s not into you! If the conversation is still going well, it may just mean she’s not ready for that kind of interaction yet. Continue flirting and pay attention to body language, and she’ll let you know when she’s ready. If the conversation dies and feels awkward after a touch, that’s a pretty clear sign that she’s not into it, so you’ll know to make a nice exit and not waste your time with someone who’s not interested. So I’ve covered the 5 mistakes – a lot of these things are actually EASILY AVOIDABLE as they are kind of based on a lack of confidence or nervousness. If you want to lose that approach anxiety and explode your confidence, we put together a free Confidence Cheat Sheet that gives you just what you need to gain the strength to approach a girl you like!
    110 Posted by The Attractive Man
  • 13 Jun 2018
    “Does she like me?” “Should I ask her out?” “Should I approach her?” Sometimes it’s hard to tell if a girl likes you or not. The problem is that women communicate “covertly”.  Women usually don’t explicitly say, “I like you,” but communicate that through other means. It’s important for you to know how to read her signs so you don’t miss an opportunity. So check out this video where I cover this in detail. After that, you’ll be ready to approach a girl without fear. Yo! Alright, look… Women can be hard to read sometimes… They don’t always give guys clear signals. It’s not in their nature to tell a guy when to make the move. She’s not going to tell you “Okay I want you to kiss me now!” or “Yes you can take me back to your place now!” Women don’t usually do that, they just expect the guy to know when to make a move. And it’s all about reading her sub communication. There are certain things women do that tell a guy she’s interested. So let’s break this down. But before we begin I need to make a disclaimer… Because I see a lot of new students fall into a deadly trap when it comes to this. A lot of guys when they are talking to a girl will constantly look for signals to see if she is interested in them. They’re trying to look for any clue that she likes them. Some guys don’t even want to approach a girl until he knows she likes him. It’s because they don’t want to get rejected, and I get it, rejection sucks… But here’s the deal. If you’re with a girl, and you keep thinking: Does she like me? oh, she flicked her hair… does that mean she likes me, or she just stepped back, does that mean she doesn’t like me, she touched my arm, I think she likes me… Oh she’s going back to her friends…  maybe she’s not interested…??? What you’re doing here is putting her on a pedestal and making her the prize. When you do this, unconsciously you’re trying to prove yourself to her and win her over. And I can tell you right now, that if you do that, you’re not going to get the girl. So when you see a girl you want to talk to, don’t worry about signs of interest. Instead, You have to go into the situation not wondering does she like me… but why should I like her? I wonder what makes this girl special. Let’s find out. You have to assume she wants you man, and that she needs to prove herself to you. You want her to react to YOU. You need to have it embedded in your mind that you are the prize and she would love to be with you… she just doesn’t know it yet. That’s the mindset of a guy that actually gets girls. So! now that I’ve given you a disclaimer, let’s break down the signs a girl gives you when she’s interested. Body Language Cues According to anthropologist Helen Fisher, the human body decides if they find someone attractive within one second of looking at them. Literally the instant she sees you, she already knows if she’s DTF or not. Again, women don’t tell you straight up if they’re into you… you just have to look at her body language. Blushing When human beings are attracted to someone, blood flows to their cheeks and they can’t help but blush. If her cheeks are red and she’s blushing, there’s a good chance she’s into you. Or she just put on a ton of blush. Eye Contact Prolonged eye contact is another huge indicator of attraction. But don’t think that just because a girl looks away, it means she’s not interested. Often, women look away because they’re nervous – or they don’t want to seem too weird or creepy. And if a girl doesn’t look away at all, and keeps staring at you, then run! She’s probably crazy and is going to be waiting for you in the bushes when you go home. If you’re seeing some of these signs but you’re still not sure whether she’s trying to get you to come talk to her, don’t worry. According to research, the majority of men don’t pick up on a woman’s flirtatious body language right away. Physiological Cues Let’s face it, us guys are just not all that perceptive. But if you wait around trying to make sure you see all the right signs, you’re going to lose many opportunities or work yourself into a frenzy from all the waiting around and probably chicken out. So just take charge and approach. You have nothing to lose. Assume she wants you. Once you make your approach and start talking to a woman, there are some more signs you can look for to tell if she likes you. Increased Heart Rate  When you’re attracted to someone, your heart starts pumping faster. So either break out your stethoscope or just listen to hear if she’s breathing heavy. Dilated Pupils Our pupils tend to dilate when we’re sexually attracted to someone.  Instinctive Behavioral Cues Feet And Arms Look down at her feet. If they’re pointed in your direction, she’s subconsciously trying to line herself up with you. If her feet are pointed away that may mean she wants to leave. Check out her arms, specifically her sleeves. Women tend to pull up their sleeves if they’re attracted to someone, as a subconscious way of showing off their skin. Moving Closer To You Another thing women do when they’re attracted to someone is trying to close the distance between themselves and the guy. But this goes beyond just moving closer to you. If she slides a glass or a menu toward you, it may be a sign she’s trying to get closer to you. Or she just wants you to buy her something off the menu. Touching Her Hair And Neck If a girl is into you, she’ll likely touch her hair and neck when talking to you. This isn’t a conscious decision, but rather a primal instinct to help expose her armpits, which release sex hormones designed to turn you on. That’s right, it’s not BO – it’s sex hormones….. Sexual attraction is gross. Final Thoughts But all that being said, I can’t stress it enough that you really don’t need to worry about these signs. The problem is that most guys won’t make a move because they don’t notice the signs and then they actually lose the girl because the girl gets tired of waiting for him to man up. So I say if you like the girl make your move. If she’s just not interested she’ll make it perfectly clear. The only sign you really need is whether she’s staying with you or not. If she’s not interested she will likely excuse herself. If you want to know exactly what to say to turn her on – we created a Free Escalation Cheat Sheet that lists out some of our best ways to spark sexual tension, turn a girl on, and escalate to the bedroom. It’s filled with Advanced Escalation Techniques that will help you turn a platonic – friendly interaction, into a more sexual – “I want to rip your clothes off” vibe. This is very useful when you’re talking to a girl but it’s going nowhere. Download the Escalation Cheat Sheet for more on what to say to take things to the next level!
    104 Posted by The Attractive Man