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Society 283 views Sep 27, 2018
3 Reasons Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Him

Having a crush on a guy isn’t easy…

You wake up in the morning, and there he is – on your mind first thing.

You think about him on the way to work or school…

You think about him every time you see something that reminds you of him…

The infatuation is a 24/7 job sometimes.

It doesn’t even matter if you are together or not. In fact, it would be fantastic if you were, but being apart is driving you crazy.

You might not even really know much about this guy. Which makes it all that much more crazy in your head.

You gotta sort out those feelings before they drive you too far up the wall…

You can be any age, any place in your life, and a guy can just knock you on your butt. I know married couples that each have a crush going on – AND their relationship is great!

So what gives?

Why can’t you stop thinking about him?

And what’s it going to take to get your life back under control?

Your first step should be to ask yourself what it is that you find so attractive about this guy. Why is he on your thoughts so much?

Is it a chemistry thing? Or is it something else?

The best thing you can do is to whip out that pencil and your journal and work out what it is that you find so irresistible about him.

The second thing to do is look at yourself and how you view your status next to this guy. If you think for a moment that he is better than you, or you don’t measure up in some way – guess again.

Keep things in perspective when it comes to your situation. You probably feel inferior in some ways, and even intimidated… But don’t.

As the saying goes, no matter how gorgeous and fantastic you think he is – someone is tired of his crap. Keep him in perspective.

But as it happens, there’s a reason why this guy is on your mind so much.

It’s fun having your head in the clouds, but make sure some part of you is still down to earth…

It comes down to some physical – and psychological – science.

Let’s dig right in with the 3 reasons you can’t stop thinking about him…

He’s on your mind and in your thoughts – Reason 1: Your brain has been reprogrammed

There’s a part of your brain called the “Reticular Activating System.” (RAS for short.) It’s a small bundle of nerves that is basically the traffic cop of your brain.

You ever buy a car and then suddenly see that car everywhere?

Could be shoes, or a purse instead of that car, but the effect is the same.

What happened?

Your brain got reprogrammed – your RAS, basically. You told your mind what was important to you, and now it’s pointing it out in your environment.

This is your brain on that love high…

Your RAS is also connected to a phenomenon called the Baeder-Meinhof syndrome – also called the “frequency illusion.”

Baader-Meinhof is the phenomenon where one happens upon some obscure piece of information– often an unfamiliar word or name– and soon afterwards encounters the same subject again, often repeatedly.

It might even seem like coincidence – or even some kind of cosmic signal.

But you know what? It’s not. It’s just your brain bending your reality.


It happens more than we think, and you have to be on the lookout.

And that’s one of the big reasons a guy will stick in your thoughts like a catchy song from the 1980s…

So watch out that you don’t fall for the trickery of the mind…

Why can’t I stop thinking about him? – Reason 2: Your hormones are on FIRE…!

Well, not literally or anything. But your brain is dumping chemical after chemical into your system, and it’s making you more suggestible and on edge.

Those love goggles will do a number on you if you’re not careful…

Here’s a short list of the chemicals at work:

  • Adrenaline
  • Dopamine
  • Serotonin
  • Oxytocin
  • Vasopressin

You have a virtual cocktail of hormones raging through your brain when you get infatuated like this, and it creates a whole new reality where you can’t stop thinking about the other person.

Why can’t I get him out of my head? – Reason 3: Suppression makes it worse…

So by now you’re probably wondering how you wound up so obsessed with this guy, right?

Well, for you to understand how it works, let’s do a quick experiment:

For the next 5 seconds, close your eyes and do NOT think about a purple unicorn…

Don’t think about it, and don’t let the image into your mind.

Okay, now if you’re like most people, you couldn’t help yourself. You saw that purple unicorn whether you wanted to or not.

There’s no fighting it…

Trying to suppress a thought just makes things worse. Telling yourself to stop thinking about him is only going to reinforce the fact that you keep thinking about him!

It’s enough to drive you crazy, isn’t it?

Darned if you do and darned if you don’t.

Trying to suppress such thoughts can even lead that person to appear in your dreams. It’s called the rebound effect.

The key to overcoming this – if that’s something you want to do – is to REDIRECT your thinking, not try to stop it.

Instead of indulging and ruminating about him endlessly, you need to steer those thoughts toward something else – something less glowing and romantic.

For example: Focus on the natural emotional evolution you go through with your relationships.

Infatuation always leads to what? Eventually, love.

Then what?

A warm comfortable place. Usually.

And then?


Reality sets in and you realize that no matter what you thought going in, there’s a relationship you need to work on here.

And his flaws will always come out eventually, which is both a bit of a buzz-kill and a blessed relief. If you were to live your life in infatuation, you’d go right out of your mind.

Beware of getting lost in your own head – not all mental appetites are healthy…

So stay grounded – and stay real.

Don’t go thinking into the future, either!

No indulging in fantasies of marriage or happily-ever-after. Stay out of that zone for your own good.

Far better to stay grounded in reality.

Your neural circuits – your RAS, and your subconscious mind – will be primed to think about your love interest, simply from being awash in these love chemicals.

So always remember that your mind is working to reinforce this love interest in your thoughts. And every time you think about him, you’re going to make this guy your overwhelming focus.

The cycle will keep going all on its own.

And, ultimately, you gotta ask yourself – why don’t you just go for it?

Why not ask him out and let the chips fall where they may?

Okay – I’ll tell you what to do next to get the ball rolling –

Step 1) First, figure out where you’re feeling an “emptiness” in your life right now. This is where you feel unfulfilled, and it’s also very likely why you’ve got a crush on this guy.

If it’s just a hole in your heart, then figure out if he’s really a good fit for you, or just a case of overwhelming chemistry.

It’s hard to see straight in the heat of the moment…

Step 2) Be careful you don’t start OVER valuing him too soon.

He’s just a guy, and if you start chasing him in your mind before you’ve even gotten a date, you’ll be in the worst position to get him to fall for you.

Make sure you keep an eye out for red flags and other behavioral signs that suggest he might not be the best match for you.

(Some of these signs include: treating service staff horribly, flipping out over the smallest things, and so on.  You can also check out a more detailed list of warning signs by clicking here.)

Step 3) Get out there and meet some OTHER guys.

The last thing you want to do is leave yourself completely vulnerable to this guy, only to be crushed if he doesn’t return the interest in you.

Make sure you’ve got your own social and romantic calendar balanced with other possibilities. There are many reasons why, and I reveal you more in The Connection Code.

You gotta get out from under this spell he’s got you in, eventually. So it’s either give up on him (don’t, unless you think he’s bad news), move in on him (if he’s unaware, this is an option), or get on his radar soon.

Of course, if you want the simple, short formula for true love, here you go:

  • Find a complete stranger…
  • Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour…
  • Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes…

Am I pulling your leg?


Is that really all there is to it?

YES! York University psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun actually experimented on this in the lab.

And you know what?

It worked so well that – after 34 minutes of this experiment – several test subjects started dating – and one couple got married.

It could work for you – but do you know HOW to do this the right way?

Learn how to connect with him – keep reading…

First of all, don’t find a stranger – you don’t want to wind up married to a weirdo.

Second, you gotta know WHAT to reveal to him that’s “intimate.”

And Third – you gotta know how to get him to open up and reveal his intimate details…

The rest will come easily…

You CAN take control of your relationship, and where it’s going.

If you want to know what will create an unbreakable connection with the man you want, CLICK HERE

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  • 03 Oct 2018
    Guys are often seen as stoic, silent creatures who “don’t want to talk about it.” If my coaching client calls tell me anything, it’s that a lot of women struggle with getting their guy to open up about his feelings. Like I’ve said in my past blog posts, men are often taught at an early age that losing their cool (i.e. showing emotions) is a sign of weakness. It might seem like we’re the unreadable Sphinx, but the truth is that we do have a soft and gooey center – if you know how to get to it. (I just realized that sounds a bit gross…) But the hidden, private part of him is reserved for that special woman in our life. If you can crack the secret code to make him open up, he’ll know you’re “The One“. Text messaging is one of the ways you can tell a guy that you’re the right girl for him – but indirectly. Men are known for communicating in a straight-to-the-point, let’s-not-beat-around-the-bush kind of way. But not when it comes to dating and romance… He won’t say it (or even be consciously aware of it), but your guy is always be up for a nice, steamy session of text flirting. He lives for the thrill of the chase. And beating around the bush is, in fact, a GOOD thing for both of you. Considering the way a guy’s brain is wired, sending him a well-crafted text message is just like throwing a match into a gunpowder. Yes, your man is a powder keg of love (and lust!) that’s just waiting for a chance to explode. Here are 10 of the best text messages to light his fuse: #1: “My mind’s been running wild with naughty, naughty thoughts all day…and it’s all your fault” Just like you, men want to be WANTED. Most women want men to acknowledge their beauty and personality, but your typical guy is after a more sensual kind of longing. Desire begets desire. Your man needs to know that he’s running through your mind harder than a triathlete gunning for the gold medal. When he’s aware that you’re ALSO thinking of him in an R-rated kind of way, you’ll create a feedback loop that’s directly wired into a primal part of his brain. Naturally, he’ll push you to elaborate on what you just told him – the next step is to supply him with one detail at a time. EXAMPLE: “I was thinking of the weight of your body pressing against me.” After you’ve texted back and forth for a while, wrap things up by saying “I’d love to keep this going, but I have to get back to work (or any other reason of your choice).” You want to end it – and leave him wanting more. Then, finish it off with: “Besides, I’d rather continue this conversation face to face… I’ll let you count the minutes until then :)” How detailed you want to get is up to you. But if your conversations at this point aren’t getting sexy yet, I suggest keeping the tone suggestive rather than using actual explicit words…for now. #2: “I’m feeling like FedEx right now…because I’m interested in a certain package of yours ;)” Did you just indirectly reference a part of his anatomy? Yeah you did – and he’ll love you for it. Let me be totally blunt with you – a red-blooded man loves it when his woman “wants his biz“. The thought of a girl craving his manhood is all it takes to get him firing on all cylinders. A man derives a BIG part of his masculinity from this part of himself, so he’ll feel extremely gratified knowing that you want him in this very specific way. Yet another flirty text – #3: “Nothing sounds better than hearing you say my name when you _________. I’ll just let you fill in the blank :)” Never underestimate the power of a horny man’s imagination. We’re first and foremost visual creatures, so give our mind’s eye something to work with. We’re tantalized by what we can’t (or want to) see. Give your guy’s mind an excuse to work overtime, and he’ll create the perfect image to burn into his brain. By letting him “fill in the blank”, you’re basically giving him a free pass to picture the two of you in the dirtiest situation he can imagine. Trust me, he’ll want to fill in those blanks in more ways than one… if you know what I mean. Try this text – #4: “Wanted: sexy, handsome guy to supply love-starved girl with a steady shower of kisses. Generous perks and benefits await qualified candidates.” Send this separately: “Only one spot open…let me know if you’re interested.” Pro tip: Your text messages don’t always have to read like a page out of “Fifty Shades of Grey”. You don’t have to sound like an erotica author all the time, and he’ll appreciate you mixing it up with a little levity. Also known as FUN. As much as he appreciates the raunchy stuff, shifting gears every now and then keeps you from being too “intense”. A dash of humor will break up the monotony, give him a nice chuckle and STILL keep the sexy vibe going. (Oh, and feel free to customize this “sexy ad” text with your own “job description”.) A good girlfriend knows how to tickle his funny bone…along with the other parts of his body. Super texting – #5: “I was just thinking about the sounds we make when we’re alone together. It’s like a song stuck in my head and I can’t think of anything else.” Guys aren’t just turned on by visuals. Supplying his brain with the right soundtrack is just as powerful and will complement his dirty daydreams. Use audio and engage his senses… #6: “I need to hear you say my name…especially when it’s out LOUD and you’re out of breath.” As with the last text, planting strategic “audio clips” will have a HUGE effect on him – sometimes even more than the pictures in his head. Give your guy the best snippets from the last time you got physical with him, and he’ll be craving you so much that it hurts. #7: “Licking a lollipop right now, and I can’t stop thinking of you for some reason. I can’t put my finger on it…maybe you should come over and help me figure out why.” And we’re back to visuals! I’ll admit some guys can be dense, but 99.9999% of men will immediately understand this text. Trust me, this is one metaphor that WON’T fly over his head. #8: “Just thinking about the way your tongue feels against my skin…great, now I need to freshen up down south… Care to help?” Yeah, this one’s self-explanatory, so make sure you’re ready for what happens next when you fire off this little gem. #9: “It’s freezing here and I’ve buried myself under a bunch of blankets. Not wearing anything was probably a wrong move.” Not all sexy texts have to be graphic. In some cases, less is more and implying nakedness is a good way to pull this off. Remember, sexual desire is like gravity…sometimes all you need is a little push and the rest takes care of itself. Keep it to hints as much as you can. Guys like dirty when you’re WITH him, but they prefer imagination when you’re not. #10: “I’m playing film critic today and found a movie online…but it’s a porn flick. Wanna watch it with me? Your input would be highly appreciated.” “Playful” is the operative word when it comes to texting a man. Inviting him to watch porn is a guy’s secret wish, so you get extra points by being creative about it. Of course, choose something that you genuinely DO want to watch. Most of the time, turning him on boils down to a matter of pointing his mind in the direction you want. Give him the right material, and he’ll run with it. You probably know by now that it doesn’t take much to get him started. While sending him the right text messages is a step in the right direction, it’s only ONE PART of that special combination that will unlock his heart. And by “combination”, I mean cultivating certain behaviors, attitudes and habits that speak to your man in a way no other woman can. If you want to be THAT girl in your guy’s life, I’ve found a way to simplify the process and take you to the quickest path to his heart. For instance, did you know that you need to know how to match his connection style? I’ve prepared a short video that will explain what his connection style is – and why it’s critical you know this about him. This is the missing piece in the love puzzle that a lot of women miss – and this often spells the difference between staying together and splitting up.
    263 Posted by Dating Advice Guru